Congress asks Justice Dept to investigate Clemens..

As if Congress has nothing better to do..they are now demanding a formal investigation into whether Clemens lied to them under oath.

Such. fucking. bullshit.

The assholes running our country need to be drug behind a truck for about a thousand miles if this is what they are spending their fucking time on.

Tags: Roger Clemens

What..a...game!

Good football game last nite..what's that? You didn't get to watch it?

Blame the NFL and their grand plan to control all things football. Don't blame your cable company who is taking most of the blame for this bullshit.

It was a good game..Brett Favre was knocked out in the first half. His replacement did an admiral job although they still lost by 10 points. From SI.com:

NFL fans who missed the Cowboys' 37-27 shootout win on Thursday night really missed something. It was a big-play-strewn and wildly entertaining game that had a little bit of everything -- including an injury that knocked the indestructible Brett Favre from the field in the first half.

If you didn't get to watch it, you weren't alone. Only a scant 30 million got to watch Tony Romo toss a shit-load of TD's. I had to drive to San Diego to watch the game..funny how that trip worked out timing wise.. but as I said..its not your cable company's fault that the NFL is holding a gun to their head.

Of course I have both QB's in several of my fantasy leagues..it was a bittersweet night to say the least..

Mundane Monday...

The Chargers looked like shit last night..but then Indy did too. Peyton Manning probably pissed down both legs after tossing his 6th interception of the night..A New Record for ol Peyton folks! The Chargers should be down right embarrassed to lead their division with a craptastic 5-4 record.

My football fantasy teams did ok..thanks for asking.

This week in baseball, we will find out who wins the NL and AL ROY, The Cy, Manager of the year and league MVP. They will spread this news out over the course of the whole friggin week..bastids.

Oh, and that wanker A-Rod might join Joe Torre in the wearing of Dodger Blue. I know..I laughed about that one as well. He will fit right in with all the other freak shows in L.A won't he? This info is from Torre himself, so only God knows how authentic it is.

That's it for a Mundane Monday..

Tags: Chargers, Peyton Manning, Arod

New Hybrid Hummer

New Hybrid SUV

September 2007. For Immediate release: H4 - The Hummer Hybrid !

(ACPA-Detroit) General Motors, maker of the Hummer line of Sport Utility Vehicles, have announced that the fourth generation of Hummer will come with a Hybrid engine. The move follows extensive criticism of their continued production of high gas consumption vehicles which have been linked to Global Warming.

Announcing the move Sara Greene, the aptly named Company Environmental Affairs officer stated, "You spoke, we listened, and we are delighted to confirm that the H4 will come with a highly efficient and compact Hybrid engine". " We expect to increase our bottom line and bring in new customers with this move".

Scheduled to hit the market in 2008, GM have chosen a retro VW Beatle style with the engine placed in the trunk-space. Spokeswoman Greene stated "We think this will appeal to the demographic who once drove those hippy vehicles and now consider themselves to be environmentalists."

Easy to remove!

Recognizing that the hybrid engine will reduce the space available in the Trunk, GM confirmed that the new engine will be encased in a light aluminum wheeled-frame so that it can easily be shifted around inside the trunk to maximize storage.

GM did point out a downside admitting the additional weight of having a hybrid engine in the trunk will reduce overall gas mileage. To solve this problem the auto giant is recommending that buyers remove the engine completely and store it in the garage. "This way you will get the best MPG we can provide and still feel good about having a hybrid engine at the same time" stated Greene.

The Hybrid engine will be lifted out at the dealership for H4 buyers who don't want one. Its expected that H5 will have the engine stored away discreetly beside the spare wheel.

Greene concluded the announcement noting that "the thousands of protest letters you sent us will now be carefully recycled".

End press release www.satireandcomment.com

RIAA sends message...

From the PugBus:

DULUTH, Minn. – The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) prevailed yesterday in its efforts to stamp out copyright infringement by Native American single mothers of two children.

Jammie Thomas, 30, who was found guilty of "musical terrorism" related to alleged online music-sharing activities, now owes the RIAA $222,000 for making twenty-four songs, including Sarah McLachlan's 'Building a Mystery,' available to others via the file sharing network Kazaa. That works out to $9,167 per song or $110,000 per twelve-song CD.

"This verdict sends a message to all Native American single mothers who flout the law," said the RIAA's lead attorney, Richard Gabriel. "No cohort, no matter how small, marginally employed, or strapped for cash, is safe."

Speaking on the courthouse steps following the verdict, Ms. Thomas maintained that she was innocent of all charges.

"Sarah McLachlan's 'Building a Mystery?'" she laughed. "Give me a break. They must have planted that one on my hard drive."

Ms. Thomas' attorney, Richard Bratton, said he planned to appeal the decision.

"This case is a long way from being decided," he said. "By the time this one makes its way through the courts, the price of a CD may well be $110,000."

Of course this piece is a humor piece..but the fact remains the assholes at the RIAA are giddy over this ruling. I hope the appeals courts shoot it down..and thereby shut them the fuck up.

Tags: RIAA, music piracy