Tuesday, January 31, 2006 | By: Unknown

Your quote for the day.

Ben Franklin said: The Good particular Men may do separately...is small compared to what they can do collectively.

Evidently the Democrats and progressive representatives weren't familiar with this quote from Benny when they voted Monday regarding the confirmation of Alito.
Monday, January 30, 2006 | By: Unknown

BASE jumping..what a friggin rush.

I love the idea of BASE jumping. You need at least 200 airplane parachute jumps to even attempt a BASE jump. Base is the acronym for the elements jumped "from":
Buildings(you name a tall one, someones jumped from it believe me)
Antennas (as in tall metal structures that arent really made anymore)
Span (as in a bridge span)
Earth (as in Terra Firma, tall mountains, canyons,deep wells or mining pits, etc)

You don't execute your parachute until seconds before you smack the earth...seriously. Some folks have been known to wait a tad too long..you can figure the results I am sure. These parachutes are nothing like the ones used traditionally when you jump from a perfectly good airplane, they allow you to manuver exceptionally well. This is important in alot of BASE jumps since they are landing in small spaces like a busy parking lot, narrow canyons, etc.

There is a very cool video on IFILM about the basics of BASE jumping..shows alot of jump footage. Its only 6 minutes long, go check it out here.

I would do it..in a heartbeat. Would you dear reader?

Meme from IT-Chick.

Please note, these are not in any particular order...
Seven things to do before I die:
1. Watch the sunset from the bank of the Seine.
2. Capture and get Jackie the one-eyed, illusive feral cat spayed, I can not adopt any more of her friggin kittens.
3. Go to Graceland.
4. Run for public office.
5. See a game in every single Major League Baseball Park during the season.
6. Pay my respect at Dale Earnhardts grave.
7. Lose some weight and look damn good in a pair of skin-tight jeans again.

Seven things I cannot do :
1. Sing on key.
2. Be quiet.
3. Touch my nose with my tongue.
4. Hold my breath and float in the air.
5. Watch a person or an animal suffer.
6. Drive the speed limit.
7. Lose some weight and look damn good in a pair of skin-tight jeans again.

Seven things that attract me to blogging:
1. Intelligent, interesting people.
2. Connecting with people from all over the world.
3. No one can tell me to shut the fuck up.
4. I can finally get all those strange thoughts out of my head and on to paper..well..kinda.
5. The Power of the written word.
6. It beats watching my baseball team get their ass handed to them by the Dodgers.
7. Raw emotion.

Seven things I say most often:
1. Your on my last nerve.
2. Where are my fucking car keys.
3. Did you feed the animals yet?
4. Get down from there Bobbie or I will kick your scrawny little ass into next week.(Bobbie is a cat,relax)
5. Can't I take a leak without 7 pairs of eyes staring at me?
6. Kiss my ass moron.
7. I love you.

Seven books that I love:
1. Anything by Steve Martini
2. Anything by John Steinbeck.
3. Soul on Ice
4. Anything by John Gresham
5. Anything by Mark Twain
6. Anything by Tennesse Williams(I know, he's a playwright..so sue me)
7. To Kill a Mockingbird.

Seven movies that I can watch over and over again:
1. The Breakfast Club.
2. The Natural
3. The Big Lebowski
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Bull Durham
6. Home for the Holidays, the 1995 version directed by Jodie Foster.
7. Tin Cup
Sunday, January 29, 2006 | By: Unknown

Piazza is a Padre..can it get any worse?

37 year old Mike Piazza is now a Padre..why, I dont know. He hasn't got a pair of knees that merit $1.75 Million Large for one year(plus that infamous incentive cash too)...I swear to god he doesn't. His numbers have steadily gone downward for the last eight years..last year was disgusting..113 games with a .251 avg and a whopping 19 homers.

Must be the fact that none of the AL teams offered him anything decent..jeez..would you? He should be finishing out his career as a DH in Kansas City...I ain't kidding. But the padres, who pinch pennies worse than the ball and chain offered him a great deal for an old, broken-down catcher..guess ya can't blame him for taking it.

On the positive side..lol..he will bring experience to a young pitching staff..well, Trevor isn't young by any stretch of the imagination, and either is Woody Williams..but the rest are pretty green..His calls behind the plate could help the staff as a whole. Plus he can still hit the occasional homer. Course Pet-food Park is spacious and hard to hit it out past the fences..but Mikie has done it before..he holds the record for homers for a catcher I think.. He used to be a career .3oo hitter..before his knees went south.

Did I mention I never liked Piazza? When he was a Dodger? WTF are they gonna do w/Doug Mirabelli, whom they got from Boston when they traded my beloved Mark Loretta.

Kevin Towers is an overly tanned, fathead,brain dead GM...in my opinion.
Saturday, January 28, 2006 | By: Unknown

20 years ago

In roughly 20 minutes it will be the exact time. I woke up with a jolt about half a hour ago. I looked at the clock..yes, I said to myself, yes it is almost time. The hair on the back of my neck is still standing up. Its a date and a time I will never forget. I can still see the offices..our little cubicles..everyone standing up looking over the tops of them at each other...asking wtf went so wrong...

I was working in Germantown MD..for Fairchild Space Systems. I was the program manager for several Shuttle-based satellites. My life and the lives of everyone in aerospace changed forever. The Challenger blew into smithereens shortly after takeoff this day in 1986. We had gotten so blase' about shuttle launches, we didn't even watch them in the office anymore. But this one was so horribly different, exploding 73 seconds after launch.

I did not know any of the astronauts. Yes, we had a payload on the shuttle but that really didnt matter. What mattered was that human life ended because of complacency in the workplace. Our jobs would end shortly before Thanksgiving that same year, the government put an end to all launches for what seemed an eternity. Half the company would be laid off, the same thing happening to hundreds of other companies within the circle of aerospace manufacturing.

I moved back to California in March of '87, unable to find a job in my profession on the east coast. I didnt try to get back into aerospace here in Cali. I started a business which was really a good move for me, my son was at an age when being home when he got out from school was a good thing, and I was a single parent.

I never achieved that same level of monetary comfort in my life again...but I also didn't have to take tranquilizers and stress 24/7 about my job either. My son no longer had to have a live-in nanny because mommy worked alot and slept in the office 3 nights out of 7, I no longer got called into the plant at 1 AM because a unit that was due to ship in a week went down in test. I never had to deal with government beaurocracy again and folks thats a good thing if you have never had to deal with alcoholic QA guys. Hell, I think back and realize I most likely was an alcoholic back then, drinking to relieve the daily stress of a job that seemed insurmountable all the time, building things that no one knew would even work properly out there in outer space since they had never been built before. One of the major reasons I got divorced was that damn job and its hours, its demands on my life..The price you pay sometimes is not worth it to some people.

The price we all paid that day wasn't worth it. ok...I can stop now..its 11:40 am on the east coast..20 years ago to the day, hour and minute..my life changed forever.
Friday, January 27, 2006 | By: Unknown

Back from Reno

It was a hairy 7 hour ride to make alone. The ball and chain couldn't go. He has something going on medically lately and even though I detest his ass..I had to go for Lisa. She's his daughter and I care about her regardless of her parentage.

They have snow up there..and its cold. Needless to say I didn't drive around much.

And I will most likely have to drive back up again soon. I helped her emotionally cope with things and even did the dishes..I mostly just listened to her talk..and held her alot. I am a touchy feely kinda person and she needed it..its amazing what human touch will do for someone that is suffering emotionally..

I tried to tell her about what she will go through..the feelings she will experience. I am so weird about that shit..being a psych major in college does that do ya..you want to make people feel secure that they arent losing their minds or feeling some emotion that isn't normal..its ALL normal when you experience a major loss in your life. I tried to tell her that when everyone leaves and its just her and the kid and her invalid mom..when there is silence finally, she will then really feel the loss of Harold. I told her to come spend time here in Bakersfrigginfield.. her dad would make her laugh with his goofy bullshit, I would rail against the establishment and she could slowly get used to being alone before going home to a house without Harold in it. Lisa owns a bar with her oldest friend Terry..crazy Terry from Delano.

When the ball and chain can travel, we will have to go back up. He's getting an MRI early next week and the doctor told him he couldnt travel over the Sierra Nevada Mt. range since they aren't sure what the hell is wrong with him. They have bandied about the following words: aneurism, arterial blockage or maybe just plain ole tinnitus. He's such a pain in my ass about pain..nice play on words there dont you think?

There is an old wives tale that bad things come in threes..thats what bothers me ..whats the third thing?

Hope it wont be too bad..I dont think I have alot of room left for dealing with bad things.

Unless of course its Bush getting Impeached..I really could handle that...wait..that would make Dick Cheney the Prez..maybe I couldnt handle that..aw hell, he's gonna be indicted for Plame-gate..

so that means...ah nevermind..lets wait to see what happens.

Oprah kicks James Frey in the nads..on national TV.

James Frey wrote a book called "A Million Little Pieces" which chronicled his addiction to drugs and his attempts to get clean. He called it a "memoir"..usually that means its truthful and accurate. This one wasn't. Oprah jumped squarely in ol James' shit yesterday and called him a liar. She devoted a whole show to this guy..because she was one of those that didn't believe the Smoking Gun's story about how all the interesting stuff in the book was a crock. Oprah is not a show I watch on a regular basis..but when I saw he was going to be on..I tuned in.

It was worth it to watch him and his editor from Doubleday squirm. They made a ton of money off this book which was taunted as a "true life story". Nothing could be farther from the truth.

If you missed the show..the NY Times has a write up about it here. Oprah's only reason for having this show was that she looks like a fool now. She was warned that the book was too good to be true. She helped Frey and his publishers make millions off this book by making it one of her"book of the month" additions. She called into Larry Kings show to defend Frey after the Smoking Gun story broke.

Hey, we all get duped on occasion..just look at the reasons we attacked Iraq.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 | By: Unknown

Gotta go to Reno.

I keep spinning that Johnny Cash song thru my head..I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Only I didnt shoot Harold, he had a massive heart attack this morning..He's only 40..he was only 40. He's gone..leaving a wife and 7 year old daughter.

He was just bitching about his wife on the phone last week. Now he's gone...Its hard to handle ya know?

I am dragging the laptop of course..If I can't sleep I will blog..its a long drive, 6-8 hours depending on the weather up that way..but that is the least of my worries..

How to comfort someone is what I worry about..how do you make them feel better? what do you say to a woman that just lost her husband and a child that lost her father?

Gotta pack..say a prayer for Lisa..she is a good woman that is now alone in this mean ol world.

I have seen this on several sites..so I don't remember where I filched it from..but i love it.
Monday, January 23, 2006 | By: Unknown

Superbowl set..and the prodigal son returns to Boston.

I cant quit thinking that somehow the Steelers will win it all..its the Bus' last year and it seems right to me. Cowher is the longest tenured coach in the NFL and the Steelers haven't won a superbowl since before Terry Bradshaw started yammering on the Fox NFL show.

Baseball..Theo "the wunderkid" Epstein returned to the Red Sox..wtf? Yes, he came back to work for them..god knows why perhaps..but I dont. BoSox still dont have a replacement for Damon or Renteria..better get a move on Theo..times a'waisting. I have a countdown clock at the bottom of my blog for when the "Season" starts...actually when pitchers and catchers report.

Barroid Bonds is pissed that his team wants him to bat second in the lineup..WHO GIVES A SHIT BARRY? Your ego is bigger than your talent buddy..call Wheel of Fortune and buy a clue. Your steroid-taking ass is in the twilight of your career..be happy you got a job and try keeping your pie-hole shut and just playing dude. Thats what they are paying you for..to play baseball, not bitch, whine and complain. Two words..Terrell Owens.

The Cincinnati Reds, baseball's oldest professional franchise was sold to a guy who made his money in lettuce and squash..yeah, he knows his fruits and veggies..but does he know his team..HE PROMISED a Championship to the fans..excuse me while I wipe coffee off my laptop screen and bite a hole in my lip to keep from laughing.

And finally..the Federal Government has allowed Cuba to play in the World Baseball Classic. Praise Jesus, its about time you bunch of assholes..afterall..its called the WORLD Baseball Classic for a reason..they want the whole WORLD to participate...duh!!

Have a good monday..if at all possible.
Sunday, January 22, 2006 | By: Unknown

The Bus is going to Detroit.

The Steelers beat those clowns the Broncos..at Mile High to boot.

Art Rooney bought his beloved franchise the Pittsburgh Steelers for a whopping 2500 bucks..thats it sportsfans.

My money is on em..they had to beat the top three teams in the AFC to get to the Superbowl.

Now for the second half of the equation...gotta go.

The 'hawks got in..its gonna be the Steelers I can feel it in my bones..and my wallet..
Friday, January 20, 2006 | By: Unknown

Gil Scott Heron said it best..The Revolution will not be televised.

This song by aforementioned Gill Scott Heron has been running through my head since all the shit broke about the eavesdropping by the Shrub. His site is here. It was written during the Nixon area..need I say more? I just wanted to make it more timely..my additions are in red.

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Halliburton
In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
The revolution will not show you pictures of Bush
blowing a bugle and leading a charge by Dick Cheney, The NSA and Karl Rove to eat
hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by the
FOX News and will not star Bill O'Reilly and Condoleeza Rice or Pat Robertson.
The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.
The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.
The revolution will not make you look five pounds
thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.
There will be no pictures of you and Aunt Mary
talking on the phone and saying the words "bomb" and "Al Queda" in the same sentence thus getting the Pentagon listening to your every convo for two weeks straight.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
or report from 29 districts.
The revolution will not be televised.
There will be no pictures of the FBI raiding your house and taking your computer with them to see who and what you have been up to simply because you google'd the words "pipe bomb".
There will be no pictures of Valerie Plame's life being forever wrecked because her husband told the truth when Bush didnt about nuclear yellow cake moving into Iraq.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Cindy Sheehan sitting in a ditch waiting to talk to the President about why her son had to go to Iraq and die for no good reason.
Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville
Junction will no longer be so damned relevant, and
women will not care if Dick finally gets down with
Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Pissed off people
will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The revolution will not be televised.
There will be no highlights on the eleven o'clock
news and no pictures of hairy armed women
liberationists and Alito's wife crying and blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb,
Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Tracy Lawrence, or any other country artists that haven't got a clue about whats going on in their country, they just always badmouth the Left.
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be right back after a message
bbout a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your
bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver's seat.
The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.

For those tatoo-lovin folks among us..

Found this site devoted to body art. They are REALLY into tat's. Check out this page with men showing their entire body of work..literally their entire bodies..

There are pics of 100 year old grannies getting piercings and a story about a 75 yr old woman getting a belly button ring..i shit you not sportsfans!

Speaking of tat-loving people..our fair maiden Alice has written a political post over on her blog. Knock me over with a feather! Just shows ya even non-political types have something to say about the Bush administrations bullshit moves.
Thursday, January 19, 2006 | By: Unknown

Baby and I watch TV

Hey, I didn't name her. Actually she's snoring...LOUD. But I love her. She's the sweetest girl around, I swear. She hates loud noises and shakes for hours when a car backfires. She has the biggest brown eyes you have ever seen and you have to just love a dog that smiles..Baby smiles. She gets along with every one and every animal.

Why someone would throw away a dog like Baby just blows my fucking mind. But...I am glad they did..cuz I got her. She was cowering underneath my house around my birthday four years ago. When we found her owners they said we could keep her, which we were gonna do anyway since they were crackheads. They wanted a full pit..Baby is half lab/pitt...they wanted something mean.

Shes old..and I only wish I had known her sooner...shes so sweet, my Baby.
Baby and moi Posted by Picasa
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 | By: Unknown

A Case Study..how Conservatives argue.

This wonderful bit of frivolity comes to us from the Daily Kos a beautiful site devoted to busting Bush's chops and exposing his lies and corruption. My beloved John Q. Public turned me on to this particular post this morning. Its from the wonderful ellinton, who writes for them and whom I worship from afar.

Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 12:14:48 PM PDT
Liberal: The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: No, it doesn’t.
Liberal: Yes, it does. The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: What about Guam? What about that Guam, huh? Or the Virgin Islands?
Liberal: Those are territories, not states. The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: Oh, so you’re saying those don’t count?
Liberal: Yes.
Conservative: Oh, so the people there don’t count? They’re not good enough, huh? I thought you liberals wanted everybody to be counted.
Liberal: No, I said the territories don’t count as states. The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: You’re really something, you know that? You liberals are always going on about how all of us conservatives are racists, how we don’t care about anybody but people who look like us. But you don’t even want to count the blacks who live in Guam as Americans.
there's more...

Liberal: First of all, I never said all conservatives are racists.
Conservative: Yes, you did.
Liberal: No, I didn’t.
Conservative: Michael Moore says it.
Liberal: I’ve never heard him say that.
Conservative: Yes, he does! He most definitely does!
Liberal: Look, I don’t know what he says. That’s beside the point. And the people in Guam “count,” whatever that means. I don’t even know who lives in Guam; I don’t know the first thing about Guam. I’m just saying Guam isn’t a state – it’s a territory. The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: What about Puerto Rico?
Liberal: What?
Conservative: What about Puerto Rico, huh? You love all those Mexicans coming across the border stealing our jobs – you must LOVE Puerto Rico, right?
Liberal: I’ve never been to Puerto Rico.
Conservative: Well, I have, and those kind of people would be pretty offended to hear liberals like you saying they aren’t real Americans!
Liberal: I didn’t say that!
Conservative: You said they didn’t count!
Liberal: I didn’t say that either! No, wait, just wait… (takes deep breath). I only said the USA has fifty states. Puerto Rico isn’t a state – it’s a commonwealth.
Conservative: And they don’t speak English!
Liberal: Well, many Puerto Ricans do.
Conservative: How do you know that? I’ve been there – you haven’t!
Liberal: All right, OK, fine, whatever. But the USA has fifty states.
Conservative: Well, I say Puerto Rico counts.
Liberal: Fine, but not as a state.
Conservative: Well, that’s YOUR opinion.
Liberal: It’s not my opinion – it’s a fact.
Conservative: Says you!
Liberal: No, not just “says me.” It’s a fact. Look it up.
Conservative: I don’t have time.
Liberal: You don’t have time to find out if the USA has fifty states?
Conservative: Listen, you may have time to sit around all day surfing on your liberal websites, downloading Michael Moore, but I’ve got things to do.
Liberal: Like reading about blacks in Guam and Mexicans in Puerto Rico?
Conservative: See, that’s why you guys always lose. I’m trying to have a nice conversation, and you just keep up with the insults!
Liberal: Listen, I didn’t mean to insult you.
Conservative: Oh, yes you did!
Liberal: No, look, I’m sorry, OK? I didn’t mean to insult you. Honestly. It’s just that… well, the USA has fifty states. That’s a fact. And I’m just trying to state a fact, and you’re getting very defensive, and…
Conservative: Oh, so now I’m defensive.
Liberal: Well…
Conservative: You just said you weren’t going to insult me!
Liberal: Look, I’m just trying to say the USA has fifty states!
Conservative: According to YOUR sources!
Liberal: MY sources?! What are you talking about? Look it up!
Conservative: I told you, I don’t have time to spend all day cruising the internet, looking up geography questions! Maybe if you were busier at your job, trying to live the American Dream, you wouldn’t have time for all this hate!
Liberal: I work hard at my job!
Conservative: Then why are you spending all day downloading Michael Moore?
Liberal: I don’t spend all day downloading Michael Moore! I don’t even know what you mean by that! All I’m saying is that the USA has fifty states!
Conservative: Again, according to YOU!
Liberal: Not just me! Here, here’s the World Book Encyclopedia. Look it up – it’s fifty states!
Conservative: Oh, sure, the World Book! Yeah, like I’m going to believe the World Book!
Liberal: What?
Conservative: Come on, it’s a liberal rag!
Liberal: (Long, teeth-gnashing pause) Look, just look up “United States of America.” Ten bucks it says, “the USA has fifty states.”
Conservative: Ten bucks, huh?
Liberal: Yeah, ten bucks. (pause) Wait, that’s the “M” volume.
Conservative: I know.
Liberal: You need to look under “U” for “United States.”
Conservative: I’m not looking for “United States.” I’m looking for “Moore, Michael.”
Liberal: What?!
Conservative: And when I find a big glowing article about him, you’re going to owe me ten bucks!
Liberal: Why would I owe you ten bucks?!
Conservative: You bet me ten bucks that the World Book Encyclopedia isn’t liberal.
Liberal: No I didn’t!
Conservative: Yes, you did! You bet me ten bucks that I couldn’t find a liberal article in the World Book. So when I find Michael Moore’s picture, you owe me ten bucks!
Liberal: Oh, my lord…
Conservative: AHA!
Liberal: Listen, you idiot, just because you found Michael Moore’s picture in the World Book doesn’t mean that I owe you ten bucks! It doesn’t mean the World Book is a liberal encyclopedia! And it certainly doesn’t mean the USA doesn’t have fifty states!!
Conservative: Oh, no? Look at this!
Liberal: (pause) “Massachusetts”?
Conservative: Bingo!
Liberal: What the hell does Massachusetts have to do with anything?
Conservative: The COMMONWEALTH of Massachusetts!
Liberal: So?
Conservative: So you said Puerto Rico is a commonwealth!
Liberal: Oh, no…
Conservative: You ADMITTED Puerto Rico was a commonwealth! Admit it, you said it!
Liberal: Oh, man…
Conservative: So if Massachusetts is a commonwealth, and Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, then they BOTH must be states! HA!
Liberal: OK, look…
Conservative: You owe me twenty bucks!
Liberal: What?
Conservative: Come one, pay up! Twenty bucks, let’s go!
Liberal: I don’t owe you twenty bucks!
Conservative: And I’m not even counting Pennsylvania!
Liberal: Pennsylvania?
Conservative: That’s a commonwealth, too!
Liberal: It’s a commonwealth, but…
Conservative: And Washington!
Liberal: All right, look, I lived in Seattle – Washington is NOT a commonwealth!
Conservative: Seattle’s not even a state – it’s a city!
Liberal: Yes, it’s a city, in Washington State! Washington’s a state!
Conservative: I’m talking about Washington D.C.
Liberal: What?
Conservative: Washington D.C. It’s a city.
Liberal: I know what it is!
Conservative: Well, you liberals are always going on about “Statehood for Washington!” Which, you admit, is already a state!
Liberal: Washington D.C. is not a state!
Conservative: Washington State is!
Liberal: You just said Washington D.C.!
Conservative: And you said it should be a state!
Liberal: I never said that! I mean, it should be… but I never…look…
Conservative: Should Washington be a state?
Liberal: Well…
Conservative: Simple question.
Liberal: Washington State?
Conservative: Yes or No?
Liberal: Washington State or Washington D.C.?
Conservative: Right.
(Long pause)
Conservative: He snorts cocaine.
(Long, painful pause)
Liberal: (slowly) This is Washington D.C. you’re talking about.
Conservative: Yeah. The mayor snorts cocaine.
Liberal: Actually, he’s no longer the mayor…
Conservative: I don’t think a state should have a governor who’s used drugs.
Liberal: He’s not the governor; Washington’s not a…
Conservative: Except maybe California.
Liberal: OK, OK, stop for a moment…
Conservative: I mean, that was a long time ago…
Liberal: Listen, listen…
Conservative: I don’t see Michael Moore making any movies about cocaine in Washington State, do you?
Liberal: Please, STOP!
Liberal: Look, I’m just trying to make a simple point here…
Conservative: What about…
Liberal: STOP!!!
(long pause)
Liberal: I’m just trying to make a SIMPLE point here. It’s not a big deal – it’s just a fact. The USA has fifty states. That’s all! Yes, Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, but it isn’t counted among the fifty states. Yes, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania are commonwealths too. So are Virginia and, I think, Kentucky. I don’t know about Kentucky for sure, and you know what – it doesn’t matter! They’re considered states, OK? They’re states. Washington D.C. isn’t one, even though I wish it was. Guam isn’t one. There are only fifty. Fifty states. Fifty stars on the flag – fifty states. That’s all. Fifty.
(long pause)
Conservative: Rush is so right about you people.
Liberal: Huh?
Conservative: Rush. He gets it. You people are the worst.
Liberal: I don’t…
Conservative: Here I am, trying to have an honest political discussion, and all you can do is bring up this liberal claptrap! You call people like Rush racists, but you don’t want to count Mexicans as Americans. You insult the Governor of California every chance you get. You get all your information from encyclopedias and Michael Moore. You want free cocaine in Washington, and you want Seattle to become a commonwealth, and you won’t pay me my fifty dollars even after I proved that blacks run Guam! And then, worst of all, you insult our flag and our troops!!! You disgust me!
Liberal: Good-bye.
Conservative: See, there you liberals go again! Sneaking off to download porn from Kentucky! I’m not forgetting you owe me 100 dollars!
Conservative: That’s it, cut and run!
(long pause)
Conservative: Why do you hate America?
Monday, January 16, 2006 | By: Unknown

Bum calls, bookies taking it in the shorts..

The officials working this weekends NFL games werent the sharpest knives in the drawer in some instances..the Pittsburgh game comes to mind. A completed pass...to the OTHER team? huh?Isnt that an interception?

The 'hawks beat the spread by ONE point and Indy was favored over Pitt..methinks some bookies aren't very happy with some of the outcomes this weekend...heh heh.

Neither Indy or the Pats are gonna be playing next weekend. Golf maybe but not football. The Seahawks did it without their numero uno guy and League MVP, Shaun Alexander.

Steelers and Seahawks..sounds good to moi.
Saturday, January 14, 2006 | By: Unknown

The Superbowl has lost its roman numerals..does anyone care?

Probably not. It was determined that the "younger" audience, those in their early twenties and younger, had no clue about roman numerals. They did not know how to read them or convert them. Sad ain't it? They were saying" Superbowl Extra Large?" when they saw the roman numerals for this years big show.

Don't they teach em anymore in school?

Anyone download and play with Yahoo's "widgets" yet? I am hooked on several of them.

Its cold and rainy today. My bones are hating it..so is the heating bill police aka the ball and chain..

Gotta go watch some Football..amf's.
Friday, January 13, 2006 | By: Unknown

I cant take it anymore.

I gotta post about baseball..that wonderful american pastime that is in hiatus and its driving me mad.

It all comes down to pitching..EVERYONE needs a pitcher or two..or three. All three types...starters, middle relievers and of course a decent closer. Three of the five "top" free agent starters have signed..why bring them up now, they found a job...fuckers. Padres didnt get a one of em. This doesn't surprize me however. Lima is still out there and Jeff Weaver and The Rocket can't sign with the Astro's till right before the season starts, so he's fair game too.

The Bosox swear on everything holy they are still trying to move Manny...pardon me whilst I LMAO. Right, they are trying..and I had great sex with a famous rock star.

The gents that elect the Hall of Fame players are really getting on my last nerve. Those fucktards are making life miserable for players that should be in no sweat..Jim Rice, Goose Gossage for gods sake! I mean, really..how can those two NOT be in the HOF.

Ok, I feel better now..i got it off my chest. We will now resume our regularly scheduled bullshit.
Thursday, January 12, 2006 | By: Unknown

HNT offering for the week.

I know Feetman wants a shot of my new shoes, but its early and I gotta go to work..so..

we get the newest feral kitten and my arm encased in my pajama top..cami and all.

This is Fuzzy. He is one of two ferals to survive out of the litter of five. He was extremely sick. The odds of him surviving were very very slim, the vet said. He was touch and go for two weeks. He has the softest fur of any cat I have ever seen. Fuzz might be a girl, we aren't sure yet. But he/she is a cutie and very happy to be part of our home. Notice the remote laying next to me..YES, I sleep w/it,under my pillow. You can never have the tv remote too close ya know?

I think I found the culprit that was causing Popups for Firefox users..

It seems to have disappeared since I removed webstats4u.com..bastards..

if anyone still gets popups, please let me know..
Tuesday, January 10, 2006 | By: Unknown

If the glass is half full or half empty I have just one question..

What happened to the rest of the drink? Did some asshole drink half my drink whilst I wasn't looking, cuz I will kick their friggin ass...

Football is coming closer to being over for this season..this depresses me greatly since that means the black hole of sports will soon be upon me. I will be forced to watch round ball and hockey..neither of which excite me like football or baseball.

Baseball...I am jonesing like a crackhead for a fix. At least a crackhead can make his own or find a new dealer if he gets desperate enough. I however do not have either of those options.

If I wake up to one more foggy morning I am going postal..well, not really but it gives you an idea of how much I fucking hate fog and the lack of sunshine around these parts during the winter months.

Ebay rocks..but this is not a good thing for moi. I am now on a first name basis with the local UPS guy, and I know when to expect him.

At 11am today the Baseball Hall of Fame nominees will be announced..or not..its a weak bunch of guys this year according to those that nominate them. I say "they" are full of shit and Jim Rice, Goose Gossage and Bruce Sutter deserve a place in the Hall of Fame.
Edit: Bruce Sutter got in, Rice and Goose did not..its a travesity I tell you!

The Colts might go all the way this year and win the Super Bowl..at least Robert Irsay wont be around to see it..his pennace for taking them out of Baltimore in the dead of night many moons ago.
Friday, January 06, 2006 | By: Unknown

Aw nuts..I have been tagged..

One of my favorite bloggers and a fellow Californian MJ has tagged moi. Its a rather interesting one however so I really dont mind doing this one.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I had just moved back to Cali from Georgia. I had lived there only two months when my wonderful son took off,literally. He stole my car, cleaned out my bank account ...and since he took off in the middle of the night in a driving rainstorm, he promptly totaled my car by running headlong into a large cement abuttment of some sort. I took all this as a sign from above and moved back from whence I came. The kid however did not make the return trip. He was AWOL for at least three months as I remember and when the police finally caught up with him..I gave him some tough love and told the cops to keep him, which they did. Boy was HE pissed LOL. But it was the best move I ever made on his part. He is now a fine upstanding person whom I love very much.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was living miserably here in Bakersfield, looking for a job locally of some type so I could get out of my depression. I also started blogging a year ago this week. I was going to San Diego at least two weeks out of every month. I working for Best Buy reviewing their customer service for all stores in the southern Cali I-15 corridor. Being on the road constantly had its ups and downs. The upside was getting out of Bakersfield, the downside was being alone all the time till I got to San Diego and then it was PARTY TIME! Since I am from SD I had lots of friends and family which made the trip worth it each and every month.

Five snacks I enjoy:
1. Necco's Thin Mints
2. Necco's Thin Mints
3. Rolo's
4. Moose Tracks Ice Cream, vanilla version.
5. PB&J sandwiches ( I am with you on this MJ, it IS a snack)

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics: Only five? Get a grip :)
1.Rosalita by Bruce Springsteen
2. ALL recorded music by Joe Bonamassa (Bruce..you knew this was gonna be in here didnt ya?)
3. ALL of Eric Clapton's recorded music
4. ALL of AC/DC's recorded music
5. All the songs on "Slang" an album by Def Leppard

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire: Only a million..geez
1. Buy a little place on the coast of Cali. It would have to be little, coastal property is friggin expensive here!
2. Build a huge cattery for all the feral cats I feed and love.
3. Buy a ragtop Chevy..circa 1970's
4. Take a 6 month roadtrip thru the US and spend some quality time in Budapest and Paris
5. Give what ever was left to MoveOn.Org to fight the good fight against Bush and his cronies.

Five bad habits:
1.Smoking cigs
2. Eating Junk Food aka Jack-in-the-box
3. Picking up after myself.
4. Putting off going to work until the last few hours remain in the day. I make my own schedule and thats not a good thing for someone like moi.
5. Cussing like a trucker.

Five things I like doing:
1. Singing in the car real loud.
2. Listening to the blues on my Ipod
3. Sitting at my favorite bar in Ocean Beach, CA watching the sunset and talking to old friends.
4. Blogging, both types..serious as in my political blog and funny&eclectic as in this one.
5. Road trips..short ones, long ones..dont matter, I love to drive.

Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again:
1. I will never wear a bathing suit again.
2. I will never buy another pet, I seem to acquire them when I least expect them.(abused or abandoned ones seem to find me, the count is up to 10!)
3. I will never buy another desktop PC again..new or otherwise..laptops rock!
4. Spandex..nuff said.
5. Gold Jewelry..what it does to the enviornment to remove gold from the ground is atrocious and disgusting.

Five favorite toys:
1. My laptop
2. My seven cats.
3. My three dogs.
4. My Ipod.
5. My DVR

Ok...that's it! Now comes the fun part: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot.

a la carter
waitress dreams
Friday Fishwrap
Moments in Time

NOW...the folks I am tagging for this lovely exercise..do not blow it off..there will be hell to pay if you do..I pick you folks because I find you interesting and want to know more about you :)

Fantastic Alice

Alrighty then..have at it..we all look forward to YOUR lists dear friends and fellow bloggers :)

Thursday, January 05, 2006 | By: Unknown

HNT Pic for the week.

I have a nasty cold and feel like tossing my laptop against a wall.. I am sick and coughing and who had to bust my chops about HNT.....Daisy of all people..the woman who hasnt been around in weeks and DID NOT post a pic last week..but I did:) I love you Daisy..i will be over to look at YOUR pic soon.

Since I just got up and am sick as a proverbial dog..i took a pic whilst laying in bed..its my fuzzy slippers.If you look closely at my right shin you can see a dime-sized scar where I had gangrene removed as a kid.

I have to do my best "Jack Abramoff" routine and go to court today to plead guilty to my speeding ticket and throw myself on the mercy of the court..actually I just gotta request traffic school..but I am very sick, and this is all your getting this week. Sorry.

Texas shocks USC..41-38

Most folks were rooting for Texas but few figured that they could pull it off..fuckers did!

With the BCS title and the game on the line..and only 19 seconds to go the Longhorns QB Vince Young ran it into the endzone untouched..His Michael Vick-like performance winning the game for the Texans. Young tossed for over 200 yards and RAN for 200 yards and 3 TD's his own self.

Reggie Bush who beat Young out for the Heisman this year was held to 82 rushing yards and one TD. Matt Leinart had a hard time dealing with the loss. He said USC was still the "best" team on the field and during the season in the post-game press conference. Leinart even had the nads to refer to Young as a "freak"athlete". Um...Matt? ya lost sweetie..shut up and deal with it son. Young looked awed as he stood on the sideline after the win, his arms held high in a sea of confetti. He hugged the MVP crystal football trophy like a little kid stating he was carrying it all the way back to Austin.

Pete Carroll can kiss my ass. Vince Young might of lost the Heisman to Reggie Bush but he came out on top where it really counted..the championship game. The BCS title games are not usually this good as witnessed by OK's ass-beating at the hands of USC last year. This one at the Rose Bowl, which is basically the home turf of USC, was thrilling from beginning to end.

Why couldn't I have put all my money on this game instead of the friggin Notre Dame game..
Tuesday, January 03, 2006 | By: Unknown

NFL's Black Monday continues into Tuesday.

Norv Turner was shown the door today by the Raiders..he joins Mike Martz, Mike Sherman, Dom Capers, Jim Haslett, Mike Tice and the newly retired Dick Vermeil as unemployed head coaches. Tice was fired minutes after the Vikes final game with the others getting the axe on Monday...guess Oakland didnt want to share the spotlight and waited till today to shit-can Norv..Detroit dumped Mariucci early in the season so that brings the total of NFL coaching vacancies to..hell....8 teams lining up to hire a new coach.

This just in...

Jack Abramoff plead guilty today to 3 counts of various slimy no-no's...he will be eligible for a nice 30 year sentence at his favorite federal pen unless he gives up a boatload of info on the crooked Repubs on Capitol Hill..yes..repubs were his main targets. Tom Delay used to call Jackie A his best friend..wonder how he feels now...

Edit: An article here at Slate states that the ONLY Democrat under suspicion is North Dakota's Sen. Byron Dorgan, although Abramoff did contribute to both Dems and Repubs.
Monday, January 02, 2006 | By: Unknown

The Bag is back..

Our beloved Col.Dr. is back blogging..he is on the edge as per his usual..which is always eclectic and deep... and since its election time in Canuck-land, his posts are quite interesting..I will put him over on the sidebar but you can also find him here.