Friday, May 06, 2005 | By: Unknown
Thursday, May 05, 2005 | By: Unknown

High-speed chases thru the streets of Bakersfrigginfield

ok..i know they happen everywhere..but this one was unique..it ran through my neighborhood, down my street in fact..and it was funny as hell!!!

Let me set the scene..I live in a very old shoddy 'hood..its called Oildale...i would tell you why its called that but i dont have time..its got narrow streets filled with children and cars..this area has a Bakersfrigginfield address but we are NOT part of the city..we are part of the county..this pisses off the city administration but tough shit..we like being different here in "08" land..anyways..i was taking a nap yesterday around sunset..and i hear screeching tires..no big deal..then i hear sirens..lots and LOTS of sirens..all going down my street..i count like six before i finally get my lard ass up and wander up to the front door to see whats up..the entire 'hood is standing in the street looking up the block..i cant go out..i am in my jammies..so i scream at the ball and chain to tell me whats up..then the sirens come around again..its a fucking parade of law enforcement! there are highway patrol cars, county sheriffs and city of Bakersfield PD who by the way are out of their juristiction..all chasing this not very new car..with sirens just wailing..they are winding in and out of the narrow streets doing at least 80..the guy being chased must of been having a great time..he jerked them out for almost 20 minutes..i heard strains of banjo music running thru my head during the fiasco..first he would go by one way..then come back one street over the other way..all the time "johnny law" following with a zillion sirens going.

he finally ran into an alley that had no outlet..he crashed his car and hid in someones hot-tub..the next block over..i kept waiting for the cops to run into each other trying to get there first..at least 15 of them in all..must of been a slow crime day or this guy was a real bad ass..the local rag didnt have shit on it this morning..the news guys say the cops wont release info on the whole affair..fuckers..

anyway it was a scene reminiscent of living in a "big" city..and one i havent seen in ages..a great time was had by all..got to catch up on the latest gossip in the 'hood too...i just dont think it was a good idea to fly thru the narrow residential streets at top speed..could of gotten real nasty real quick..the kids in this neighborhood aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer...but then..neither are the law enforcement dudes..

Our Elected Officials...god love em..er someone does

Who wouldn't love to jet to London, stay in a fancy suite, and watch the Wimbledon finals -- all for free? That's the kind of perk enjoyed by many members of the U.S. Congress. Sure, laws prohibit them from accepting gifts worth more than $50. But somehow expensive travel and entertainment aren't considered "gifts," so the tobacco and drug industries, trade groups, and everyone else who wants special favors ply Congress with free trips. A public broadcasting team, along with journalism graduate students, researched all the privately sponsored trips taken by members of the House and Senate since 2000. They discovered that lobbyists and other private groups spent over $14 million to fly our congresspersons around the world. Look up your own reps to see who's paying their airfare. Check out the bipartisan list of top travelers. Don't you wish your job got you golf trips and spa treatments?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005 | By: Unknown

the tennis shoe version of his joan crawford "fuck me" shoes.. Posted by Hello

The sincerest form of flattery..a tat of WDR's work Posted by Hello

Only a male could come up with this type of design

He goes by WDR.. WDR is short for William David Reichardt. His stuff is a trip if its nothing else..I love shoes so I really trip out on his shoe designs. I am sure this type of art has been around for awhile, but I just discovered it..thanks john..its all erotic and its all different types of erotica...the link to his bio is here: http://www.katmekat.com/tsubasa/index1.htm

The man is an american but developed some internet friendships w/people in Japan and discovered alot more than the uses for white rice evidently..
Monday, May 02, 2005 | By: Unknown

Pitcher Rincon newest small testes victim in MLB..

now..i am sure Rincon didnt think of the side effects when he was shooting up roids in his ass but he will have plenty of time to consider this and other things while he is suspended..HES A PITCHER..now at first i was like..what the fuck? a pitcher..then some lil nimrod on Sportscenter(who looks to have NEVER played baseball professionally) explaned how relief pitchers are the most likely to use roids since they pitch daily and have to be able to bounce back..who knew? not moi thats for sure..but it makes sense now..the biggest steroid abusers are not going to be the long ball hitters like bonds and canseco..its the middle relievers that lanquish in the bull pen till called upon to either save an ass or two..or just get some dipshit out..they cant even get into the hall of fame yet..there isnt a spot for middle relievers..hell, closers just got recognized last year with the election of former a's ace and fantastic closer Dennis Eckersley..wonder what size nads he has? cherry pits or the walnut variety? just curious folks..
Friday, April 29, 2005 | By: Unknown

It was only a matter of time till she filed the lawsuit...

OK...when i watched the replay of the "incident" on Sportscenter i just knew there was going to be a lawsuit..and it has now been filed..but wait..you gotta read the article..the reasons this woman lists for filing the lawsuit..i had to bite a hole in my lip to keep from laughing on a few of em..living in a litigious society these kinds of lawsuits are filed daily..this one bothers me only because her husband had the nads to heckle the shit out of the ball players prior to her getting beaned by the chair. if he was sitting in a bar and pulled that crap someone would of jacked him up good..on his way to his car perhaps..in the dark without any witnesses..this guy would of never opened his yap in a place where he didnt have the protection of a stadium full of witnesses..i would bet my life on it. it's easy to heckle and harass people when your sitting in a baseball stadium...little turdmongers that would never say shit if they had a mouthful in real life find it easy to sling dirty little diatribes only because they figure the ball players can't do anything to them. Reminds me of the time I saw this guy beating his dog in public and I went off on him..he started on me and I didnt back down..i told the loser to take his best shot at me and lets see what transpired. he said..i dont hit women..i said..but you will hit a 40 pound dog? what does that make you dude? it makes you a fucking pussy. a crowd started gathering. the local law enforcement pulled up. the guy is now trying to slowly back down the street. I tell the cop what the asshole was doing..the cop checks the dog out and finds his little mouth is bloody from the asshole bitch-slapping him. the guy got popped, his dog was taken by animal control and i had to go to court to testify about what i had seen. so did a couple others that watched but didnt say anything until i did. he gave up his dog thank god..but he got a nice fine for animal abuse..now if he had hit me he would of got alot more but afterall..it was just a dog right? dont get me started..

The suit filed by Jennifer Bueno seeks damages for battery, assault and negligence. Also named in the lawsuit are Texas pitchers Doug Brocail and Carlos Almanzar, the Texas Rangers Baseball Company, and Staff Pro Inc. -- the company hired by the Oakland Athletics to provide security at the game.
Jennifer Bueno said she has physically recovered from her injury, pointing to a small scar on the bridge of her nose, but said she is still affected emotionally.
"It's something that's going to stay with me for the rest of my life," Bueno said. "I never thought that I'd have to go to a game and be fearful for players attacking me, but nobody can say that won't happen, because we know now it can."
Bueno said she has not attended any baseball games since then and did not anticipate going to any soon. She also said she is "apprehensive and scared" of confrontations at her children's games. oh give me a friggin break..does this bitch think ANYONE believes this shit?
Gwilliam said negotiations last month on a settlement with the Rangers were unsuccessful. He wouldn't say how much Bueno is seeking. aw...she tried to milk them and they blew her off..time to file the suit eh?
"We were a long ways apart, and any figures they had were not in the ballpark," he said.
Francisco's attorney, Rick Minkoff, had no comment on the lawsuit. Nice play on words there dude..
The criminal trial against Francisco is still pending, and was postponed Thursday by the judge until June 2.
Minkoff presented a pre-plea report for the court to consider. He said he will also submit additional materials before that date. Francisco is charged with misdemeanor assault, which carries a maximum sentence of one year in county jail and three years probation if convicted.
"This was our first opportunity to have a full discussion with the court that's going to be in charge of the case and handle the disposition of the case," Minkoff said. "The court's going to hear more from us and I consider that substantial progress because it's the first time that's happened."
Both sides will consider pleading out the case, but Minkoff said he would not consider anything that would endanger Francisco's immigration status. Francisco, who is from the Dominican Republic, is in the country on a visa.

IF your a little Left of Center...Click Here

The folks over at Air America Radio are a strange lot...but i do listen to several of their shows. I recommend the Al Franken Show. Al is a funny guy who can rip the right wing jackasses a new one while making you laugh your collective ass off. I like anything that agrees w/me that Fox News is nothing more than a commercial mouthpiece for the Bush administration and the conservative right. Nothing wrong with being a conservative mind you...nothing at all..except the fact that they care about nothing but making a buck and screwing the little guy..which if you think about it..thats us..the little guys..unless of course your a rich fuck and in which case i highly doubt you would be reading this blog..you would be off counting your money and figuring how to make more....or perhaps you would be lounging in the warmer climes waiting for the "season" to start over in the south of france..or gambling in Monaco...whatever the hell those rich fucks do..i wouldn't know..
Thursday, April 28, 2005 | By: Unknown

I stole this from "Indy girls" blog..

The "aye-aye" is a strange looking lil turd...scary as hell with then big ol eyeballs staring out...if your interested in strange lil animals check out the link at the bottom.
April 20, 2005—Making his public debut last week at the Bristol Zoo Gardens, Kintana is the United Kingdom's first captive-bred aye-aye lemur—and only the second in history to be reared by humans (his mother wasn't very motherly).
Even at this tender age, Kintana brandishes outlandish adaptations for survival in lemurs' only native home, the African island of Madagascar. In the forest the aye-aye's batlike ears can detect insect larvae squirming inside trees. A bark-breaking bite from tough incisors and a subsequent probe with a long, bony second digit seals the meal.
That adaptation is more curse than blessing for some of these tree dwellers, which are beaten by Madagascan villagers who see the crooked claw as a harbinger of death. Farmers too get their licks, persecuting the world's largest nocturnal primates for their night raids on sweet crops like coconuts and sugarcane. Also, some Madagascans hunt the 4.5-pound (2-kilogram) aye-ayes for their meat.
THE LITTLE FUCKER ONLY WEIGHS 4 POUNDS..BASTARDS ARE EATING THEM! i find this pathetic..gotta be something else to eat with more meat on it. I mean come on..look at those eyes..or ayes..i am getting confused..better go to work eh?




http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/04/0419_050419_ayeaye.html

An online Smithsonian exhibit on the Lakota Tribe.

You will need the "Flash 6 Plugin" to view it correctly but it also has an html formatted one..i found it very moving and interesting..doesnt mean the rest of you nimrods will, but hey...it doesnt hurt to try to educate the masses on occasion..

http://wintercounts.si.edu/

San Diego Mayor resigns...there is a god..

Mayor Dick resigns after Time Magazine names him one of the three worst mayors in the U.S. Now, personally I think he sucked as a Mayor...not to mention he couldnt beat a write in campaign by former "surfer girl" Donna Frye without the help of the Cali Supreme Court...I think we shall find some skelatons in the dude's closet after he leaves office..the city's pension fund is in the toilet and he was trying to ignore this problem for the last four friggin years.. I say Good Riddance ya jackass, may you rot in hell with all the other civil servants that have done absolutely nothing for their constituents whilst in office..
Wednesday, April 27, 2005 | By: Unknown

Dwight will be appearing at the Pozo Saloon daisy..if your not sure where the hell that is..you take the coast route(101) to highway 58 and then take Pozo Rd. I dont have a fucking clue where Pozo Rd is, but it isnt far from me according to Mapquest. Posted by Hello

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...DBACKS IN FIRST!

THE DBACKS ARE IN FIRST..FUCK YA ALL THAT SAID THEY WOULD LANQUISH IN THE BASEMENT OF THE NL WEST..specially the ball and chain..aka the dodger fan..dbacks beat his friggin team like a damn drum..swept their happy asses i believe..all i know is..after losing over a hundred games last season these boyz are turning it around and damn quick too..of course i realize they wont be in first the whole damn season..but to beat the damn dodgers at THEIR house and end up in first place..its the highlight of my fucking day..being a sports nut it doesnt take much to make me smile..a good piece of ass would light me up like a roman candle but we know that ain't gonna happen any time soon..refer to previous post about the snoring asshole if you have any questions on that topic..ok...i gotta smoke and celebrate..lata kids..

I was supposed to work today.....

but as usual..i found something much more interesting to do...find great blogs to read..jesus..if you find one..you can usually find others under their link spot..i have been blog hopping all over the friggin place..and i found some rich ones boys and girls..they are now listed under my links spot..i figured it the hell out after an hour of screaming..the animals are all up in the living room..they hate when i starting screaming obsenities...poor things..anyways...check some of them out if you got the spare time..i really have to get to work..

here is another shot of nyc for john..hope it makes him homesick and he comes home soon. Posted by Hello

A gratiutous shot of nyc for john..

what bridge is this from john? Posted by Hello

great lil site..and funny too...

this tongue in cheek website had me laughing loud enough to wake the damn ball and chain this morning..so i just wanted to pass it on incase someone else needs a laugh..

http://www.huhcorp.com/index.htm
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 | By: Unknown

The Happiest Place on earth ain't necessarily Disneyfuckingland

ok...read em and weep..or rejoice perhaps if your in one of the "happy" spots..i think the whole list is shit since they have the nads to rank bakersfrigginfield in the TOP 10....and Jersey City is number three..what in the blue hell is that about?

The 20 Happiest Cities
1. Laredo, TX: A+
2. El Paso, TX: A+
3. Jersey City, NJ: A+
4. Corpus Christi, TX: A+
5. Baton Rouge, LA: A
6. Honolulu, HI: A-
7. Fresno, CA: A-
8. San Jose, CA: A-
9. Lincoln, NE: B+
10. Bakersfield, CA: B+
11. Buffalo, NY: B+
12. Anchorage, AK: B+
13. Stockton, CA: B+
14. Shreveport, LA: B+
15. (3-way tie) Madison, WI: B, Montgomery, AL: B, and Des Moines, IA: B
18. Wichita, KS: B
19. (tie) Sacramento, CA: B and Omaha, NE: B

The 20 Most Depressed Cities
1. Philadelphia, PA: F
2. Detroit, MI: F
3. St. Petersburg, FL: F
4. St. Louis, MO: F
5. Tampa, FL: F
6. Indianapolis, IN: F
7. (3-way tie) Mesa, AZ: F, Phoenix, AZ: F, and Scottsdale, AZ: F
10. Cleveland, OH: F
11. New York, NY: D-
12. Salt Lake City, UT: D-
13. Atlanta, GA: D
14. (3-way tie) Yonkers, NY: D, Pittsburgh, PA: D, and Kansas City, MO: D
17. (3-way tie) Long Beach, CA: D, Los Angeles, CA: D, Nashville, TN" D
20. Portland, OR: D
Sunday, April 24, 2005 | By: Unknown

ok...i never do this but what the hell...

i have been building this major slut outfit for about three months..the only thing it lacked was the bra...my tata's don't look real good loose..they need to be harnessed..those cantalopes need a frame damnit..anyway, the only thing the sexfit needed was a good, chocolate brown bra..i found it today...damn it was cheap too..

in the spirit of bakersfrigginfield, its animal print..which aint a bad thang...all those browns and tans and of course black...even gold...which goes quite well with the current hair color of burnt orange..no wait..its a nice strawberry blonde..really...i just see it as a burnt orange....the yuppie sista from hell even liked it after she had a few glasses of wine..my hair color, not the sexfit..

anyways..i was jamming on my new IPOD, not the full size bitch but the small cheap one, the ipod shuffle..holds five hours of tunes for gods sake..thats enough even to drive to San Diego..but i digress...i was jamming on the ipod whilst getting this sexy, slinky number on...all of it...jesus..its a hassle and a half..all those pieces to make one look all "come hither" and horny....I thought about putting on the "joan crawford" fuck me heels that i bought to match..all natural strings winding up my foot and circling around my ankle...but i thought better of it....after all i had been drinking some wine and i didnt need to break my fucking ankle walking up to the fucking living room where the ball and chain was lounging...that would defeat my purpose...

So....i got the whole outfit..i mean sexfit on..the bra, the undies, the teddy, the $200 bucks an oz perfume and finally the short robe that stays open in the front..fuck the shoes...and i am jamming on a really great joe b. song on the ipod..god i put together a good jam on that lil piece of plastic the size of a lighter..i start sliding up the hall...the half a friggin block to the living room...its a long ass house ya all...

i am dancing and playing air guitar on the great solo...the cats and dogs who have been watching me get undressed and then dressed again are following me like i am the pied piper..up the long-assed hallway, thru the laundry room, by the bathroom, thru the kitchen..and finally..at the door way into the living room..the kid is gone., its just me and the ball and chain...

he's snoring on the couch..WHO THE FUCK TAKES A NAP AT 6PM ON A FUCKING SUNDAY????...i shit you not...he is snoring on the couch...the bastard is asleep...i kinda nudge him a lil...he opens one eye..says:"what?"....i stand there and say.."nuttin, you taking a nap?"...he says.."what the hell does it look like?".. i say..well i was thinking of making dinner, you hungry?...he says: wake me up when its ready..i say..quietly.."its ready ol man"..he says:"what"...i say:"nuttin...i will let ya known when your dinner is ready"....

so..i go dancing back down the long, fucking hall..the animals all in tow...its a killer guitar solo now...a little jonny lang...angel of mercy to be exact....i walk past the stove, past the refrigerator, thru the entire kitchen, past the bathfuckingroom and into the bedroom again...damn..,its john lee hooker on the ipod..and hes doing "one burbon, one scotch and one beer..great song..great harmonica solo...and i dance my ever lovin ass off for over an hour..its a great invention that ipod..holds a shitload of music...i will never come out of these blues alive..god..what a GREAT FUCKING SONG!!!...

it made all my anger, my disappointment go away..thank god..i enjoyed the hell out of the next hour..sex would of been better but screw it, this wasn't bad..a lil air guitar and john lee, accompanyed by van morrison ain't a bad thang either..god i love this ipod...beats a snoring ball and chain anyday...

the last song..i will never get out of the blues alive..its a fucking great song...ol john lee hooker made a hell of a song there...

ps...the ball and chain woke up later..he was kinda pissed his dinner wasnt made..ask me if i care.....