Evidently these guys dont mind small testicles...

In this day and age..everyone and I mean everyone that plays baseball knows what roids do to their bodies...not to mention their paychecks if they get caught..its not fucking rocket science but they still keep doin em...

Nine minor-leaguers suspended for violating steroids policy


April 22, 2005CBS SportsLine.com wire reports

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NEW YORK -- Former New York Mets pitcher Grant Roberts was among nine players suspended for 15 games Friday for violating baseball's minor-league steroids policy, raising the total this year to 47.(FUCKING 47 OF EM..DIPSHITS)
Roberts was removed from the Mets major-league roster last November, then went to spring training with a minor-league contract. The 27-year-old right-hander pitched in one spring training game, pitching a scoreless inning March 6 against Washington, then was released April 14.
He has a 5-5 career major-league record with a 4.25 ERA in one start and 75 relief appearances with the Mets from 2000-04.
In 2003, the Queens district attorney's office decided not to file criminal charges in a case involving Roberts and a former girlfriend who released a photograph of him smoking marijuana. Roberts said in 2002 that the woman, Jodi Turner, attempted to extort money from him before releasing the photograph, which dated from 1998 and was later published by Newsday.OK..SMOKING POT IS GROUNDS FOR EXTORTION? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK..
"You never like to see somebody in that situation," Mets general manager Omar Minaya said. "What can you say? It's an issue you'd rather not see anybody be in."
Said manager Willie Randolph: "It's unfortunate."
Baseball specified in its announcement Friday that all suspensions were for performance-enhancing substances. Baseball classifies marijuana as a drug of abuse, a different category.
Outfielder Adam Seuss, who was released by the Mets and then signed with the Houston Astros, also tested positive for violating the steroids policy.

Three of the players suspended were from the Baltimore Orioles organization: Gary Cates Jr., Rafael Diaz and Richard Salazar. aRE THE o'S PLAYERS DUMBER THAN THE AVERAGE PLAYER? IT APPEARS SO..
"The players are very well educated on the policy. Unfortunately, it happened despite all that education, so we're disappointed and they'll have to pay the consequences," Orioles vice president Mike Flanagan said.
"I don't feel any embarrassment at all. I think the responsibility from our side is to get the word out, the news out, to educate our players on this, the downside of doing these things. Unfortunately, some still choose to do it and it's going to continue."
Also suspended were James Jurries and Ricardo Rodriguez (Atlanta Braves), Eider Torres (Cleveland Indians) and Damien Myers (released by the Detroit Tigers).
John Farrell, Cleveland's director of player development, would not comment on what substance Torres took. He said Torres obtained it in the offseason in Venezuela and the player told the Indians he was shocked that it was a banned substance.

Major League Baseball said the latest suspensions resulted from 251 tests taken at Florida spring training camps. Of the prior suspensions, 37 came as a result of 925 tests at Arizona camps and one from offseason testing.
All but one of the previous suspensions were for first offenses, with Oakland's David Castillo drawing a 60-game ban, the penalty for a third offense. CASTILLO IS OBVIOUSLY FELONY DUMB..THE MAN SHOULD BE FORCED TO SHOW THE WORLD HIS TEENY WEENY TESTES...
Three players have received 10-day suspensions this year for violating the major-league steroids policy: Tampa Bay outfielder Alex Sanchez, Colorado outfielder Jorge Piedra and Texas minor-league pitcher Agustin Montero, who was on the big-league roster during spring training. AP NEWSThe Associated Press News Service

This weeks baseball bitch..

As i said..the cousins in toronto blew up..they are playing .500 ball now..more in line w/their stature as a team..the O's and the Sawx are tied for first..I know its got to be driving a particular Yank$ fan batty..PRAISE JESUS!!!

Barroid Bonds is still MIA..which is fine w/me..ChiSox have the best record in the AL right now..which is great w/me..i got Konerko in most of my 14 Fantasy teams..the AL west is a shitty division..the leading team is barely over .500..I am rooting for Texas..i love Buck Showalter as a manager.The Marlins are leading their division over the Braves..ha ha..fuck them braves..bastages win their fucking division every year and promptly tank in the playoffs..we need new blood in that division..The Facking Cards somehow are leading the Nl Central..dont ask me how cuz jim edmonds and scott rolen aint hitting for shit..must be their pitching..which i agree is underrated..the Hell-A Dodgers are in first in the NL West and the Giants are just sucking pond scum without barroid and moises alou..too damn bad..hope they never get it together...course it pains me that the hated dodgers are leading the division..the ball and chain rubs it in daily..which has me mumbling incoherently around the house..and thinking of ways to off his ass without anyone noticing hes gone...my dbacks and padres are playing .500 ball which is giving me fits and possibly a facial tic..thank god i didnt lay down that money to get all the games live..i would possibly pull and Elvis and shoot the tv..my dad did that once...when the rams blew a playoff game..i think shooting guns in the house runs in the family since i did it once myself..but thats another story..right?

Vote early and often..cept for the damn yank$ playas..forgetaboutit!!! 

Joe Bonamassa Bluesman

:: About Joe Bonamassa ::After recording two successful solo albums, mixing influences of classic rock and blues, guitarist/singer/songwriter Joe Bonamassa released his first full-blooded blues album, Blues Deluxe in August 2003. The CD, a project close to his heart, marks his contribution to 2003 - The Year of the Blues.
Born on May 8, 1977 (coincidentally Robert Johnson’s 66th birthday), Bonamassa caught the attention of some of the world’s best blues players while not even in his teens. BB King discovered the young prodigy at 12-years-old, sparking the beginning of his career. Bonamassa would go on to tour with King as well as with John Lee Hooker, Albert Collins, and many, many others.
So, paying homage to these legends was something Joe thought about long and hard. Among those on Blues Deluxe are BB King’s "You Upset Me Baby," Albert Collins’s "Left Overs," and John Lee Hooker’s "Burning Hell." As well, Bonamassa covers songs by Robert Johnson, Buddy Guy, Elmore James, T-Bone Walker, Freddie King, along with several of his own original tracks, making this CD a must for blues lovers.
Playing guitar since the age of 4, Bonamassa is a virtuosic musician with mind-blowing dexterity who doesn’t lose sight of the raw passion that makes blues music what it is. "Woke Up Dreaming," co-written by Bonamassa and "Tears In Heaven" collaborator Will Jennings, exhibits Joe’s amazing speed on acoustic guitar, all the while staying true to the earthy style of early Delta finger-pickers. The instrumental Albert Collins’s song "Left Overs," highlights Bonamassa’s maturity with instinctive flourishes that only hint of the pyrotechnics of which he’s capable, while the jaw-dropping solo in the T-Bone Walker-inspired "Long Distance Blues" provides an opportunity to let it all hang out. Buddy Guy’s "Man of Many Words" finds Joe giving listeners a lesson in country-fried funk.
Bonamassa’s throaty, hearty vocals and grounded guitar style show how much he’s learned from the blues masters. Among echoes of BB King, Albert King and Stevie Ray Vaughan are elements that are all his own. At critical junctions, Bonamassa launches into unexpected, body-rocking new scales, riffs with finger-cramping flurry, securing his place among fellow young guns like Robert Randolph and Derek Trucks.
The recording of Blues Deluxe was inspired while Bonamassa was in the midst of a two-plus year tour in support of his 2002 release So, It’s Like That (which hit #1 on the Billboard Blues Chart multiple times in 2002 and 2003). Fans, immersed in every bluesy note of his acclaimed live performances, often asked whether a full blues record was in the offing. When the tour ended, Bonamassa entered the studio with producer Bob Held and engineer Gary Tole (David Bowie, Jimmy Vaughan, Bon Jovi) and recorded a handful of blues covers to "blow off steam."
The resulting masters were so compelling that Bonamassa and his label decided to finish the record and release Blues Deluxe in time for The Year of the Blues celebrations.
Joe Bonamassa and his label are dedicated to supporting Blues music. In conjunction with the release of Blues Deluxe, Joe has joined forces with The Blues Foundation (www.blues.org) to participate in the Blues In The Schools program. In celebration of 2003 being the Year of the Blues, Joe will appear at schools across the nation to perpetuate the heritage and legacy of Blues music to new generations of music fans.
:: Discography ::
2002 - A New Day Yesterday (live) -
2003 - Blues Deluxe -
2004 - Had To Cry Today -
2002 - So, It's Like That -
2001 - A New Day Yesterday -

brown tanks for yank$

Kevin "i hurt myself hitting a water cooler" brown showed what he was made of today giving up a mere 6 runs and 9 hits in 6 innings of work..jeez kev...wish they had left ya in a little longer, you might of gotten into double digits dude.

a quote by georgie porgie after the game sums it up:

"Enough is enough. I am bitterly disappointed as I'm sure all Yankee fans are by the lack of performance by our team," Steinbrenner said in a statement issued immediately after the game.
"It is unbelievable to me that the highest-paid team in baseball would start the season in such a deep funk. They are not playing like true Yankees. They have the talent to win and they are not winning. I expect Joe Torre, his complete coaching staff and the team to turn this around."

my thoughts as well george..you look really bad right now dude..the word "sucker" comes to mind...all that cash to languish in the basement..must be giving you fits mr. steinbrenner... of course i am very happy with the current situation in the AL East..no place better than the basement for those "battery lobbing" fans at yankee stadium...

The day after...

it was a glorious day and night..lots of spending money and laughing with friends. the beach was great, the waves small but hell..its better than watching the dust settle in bakersfrigginfield. the evening was even better...went to Tio Leo's and watching three excellent local bands with Joanie and her beau. First time i have met him and hes quite nice, very friendly. Two of the bands really impressed me so i purchased their cd's. cant wait to crank the mutha's on my trip home tuesday morning at the crack of dawn. I was a hit in my new hair..or else everyone lies very well..dont know which and dont care either. i will change it up next month anyway... a little less highlites more of my natural color..shit..what IS my natural color? jesus, someone, anyone know? i dont remember for gods sake..even my son isnt sure if he has ever SEEN my natural hair color..FACK IT..i digress..the evening ended at 1am...only a few skyy and sodas passed through my lips, so i was able to manuver the freeways back to my sisters house where the dogs from hell greeted me very noisely..is that a word? its a sports day today..baseball is starting and the nascar race is almost over..lounging attire of the day: JAMMIES!

Running lose in San Diego..

god help em, i have been unleashed on the town..no one to tell me what to do..no one to hound me into a game of scrabble..no sista, no ball and chain..JUST MOI!!!!! i am going to leave now..and run roughshod over the burgh of Ocean Beach..sip a lil wine..watch the sun dance on the waves, surfers winding in and out under the pier taking their lives in their hands..or rather their feet..wonder how many people will recognize me with my new hair color? does it matter...nah..it matters not..once they hear my voice..they will know it tis i..the fabulous sports babe returns..like the swallows to capistrano..lata folks..have a good day in whatever endeavor you chose to partake..

:)

lyrics..i love em..

sometimes, the lyrics are better than the whole song..ya know what i mean?

Thanks for throwing me a line when i lost sight of it.
Your the only reason I can exhale .
Now suddenly when i find that the outcomes not just right,
from what i just did ,
Your the only one i can breathe through.

And here my sweet friend a few lines of poetry.
It may be laughable, but thanks for laughing with me.
And heres to the next time I wrap myself around a tree, I know that you'll be there with bells on..to pull me off.

Sheff fakes a boo boo. it wasnt THAT bad gary.. 

i am busy doing my hair..a dye job..and trying to watch the yank$ bosox game..hard to do both..unless i dont care if i look like a zebra..

D-Train keeps rolling along...

Dontrelle Willis is da man..god i love watching him pitch..his delivery:he curls up almost into a ball and then the baseball just explodes out of his hand..hes going great guns so far this season..two count em TWO complete games, which never happens in this, the modern era anymore..he has blanked a team twice..or is it three times already..i forget this early in the am..his era is 0.00..NADA!!! he has 10 k's which aint all that i guess..but hey..it goes quite nicely with the two shutouts and two complete games..and..HE'S ONLY WALKED TWO BATTERS..mariano rivera cant claim that..lol..and he only pitches one inning at a time for gods sake..d-train pitched two whole friggin games!..ok..enough already i can see you eyes glazing over and a faint look of detest on your face..

aw schilling my lad..you sucked tonite.. 

Curt after the sixth inning finally ended. 

be afraid..be very afraid! 

The 72hour sweep thru San Diego County..

I had a very short but nice trip to the southland..most of the time was spent driving as usual but I did actually have an uplifting visit with two of my siblings..i am being a smartass here..as if you didnt know right? I did spend roughly 60 some odd hours with my YSFH(yuppie sister from hell) and it was uneventful and scream-free..imagine that! we got along great, i beat her ass at monopoly..beat her like a red-headed step child...she always wins at scrabble..i refused to play scrabble this trip..she ONLY wins i might add cuz she knows how to work the board..not spell..i can put out a seven letter word and get 7 points..she puts out a 3 letter word and gets 27...i gotta figure out how that damn game works..the secong sibling was her usual bible-banging self..i love her , god loves her, she needs a man to love her..please..if she got laid i think she might back off the religious zealot crap. i can not pin point the exact moment my youngest sista found god..but i wish she had left her brain home that day..being infiltrated by bible thumping two faced churchgoing lying sacks of sheep shit doesnt make my wish list for anyone. I believe in god, but he doesnt pay my rent, wash my dishes or feed the damn animals..there is a place in my life for god, its just not front and center..except when i am doing 85 on the "grapevine" and a highway patrol unit goes screaming by me at 95..THEN I THANK GOD LIKE YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE!!!!!

ok..one week into the season and these are the highlights..

1. First place in the AL East is currently being occupied by an upstart cousin from the north..the yank$ and bosox are lounging in the basement..NO ONE with half a brain expects them to be in first much past this coming week..its a freak of science and percentage points somehow, Toronto having NO watchability factor outside Victor Martinez..even he can't make me watch those bozos..

2. The second victim of the roid hunt..is..drum roll please...some poor schmuck that just came up from the minors for the Rockies..he is so non-important his name escapes me..and at this point i wont stress over it since his ass is going to the showers and mostly likely back to "A" ball..

3. The NL West is a cluster fuck..which is not news..but only worth noting since I am an NL West kinda girl..with the exception of the Bahston RedSawx..i lived there, it gives me the right to root for them..

Sing me a song your the piano man...

Just a little tune I found on the Boston Dirtdogs site..sung to "Take me out to the Ballgame":

Juice Me Up for the Ball Game
Juice me up for the ball game
Shoot some designer 'roids
Covered with acne my back's all pink
Head's getting huge while my testicles shrink
So it's shoot, shoot, shoot for the home runIf I'm not caught there's no shame'cause it's three, four, five strikes you're outAt the old ball game

baseball ya gotta love it..

well, maybe YOU dont, but i do..i love it more than sex..prolly cuz i aint getting any sex..but still..i do love baseball..lots of good games today..starting with..THE YANKS AND BAHSTON..loved that game!!!! it had all the drama of a high speed chase..and in my case..a happy ending!..the nl west boys won..dbacks and padres..damn dodgers won too..i worked my ass off but still managed to watch all the best parts of all games..PRAISE JESUS, life is good. IT could be better..like maybe a little sex..but hey...you cant get everything you want..right?

Wonderful day for the NL West

ok..the closer falls apart in the bottom of the ninth, after the team pulled one out of their ass..damn shame..pads deserved better..then the dbacks give away a laugher at the BOB...the cubs beat the living shit outta them at their house..it was a comedy..but i wasnt laughing..so much for the real opening day..on a lighter note..my investment in brandon inge paid off..and "da meat hook" made my day in a couple fantasy leagues..woody williams sent my collective era into the stratosphere..thanks asshole..day one in fantasy land was better than day two in the MLB..i am going back under the covers now..later..

The game that wasnt a game..more of a routing..

The yank$ spanked the redsox. I mean beat their collective asses very badly. I was very nervous about david "fat boy" wells to begin with. He seems to fall apart when he's really needed and although this is only the first game of the season..to start it off against the dreaded YANK$ is in and of itself a rather important event..besides..being a former resident of fat boys adopted home town of Ocean Beach CA, I am familiar with the lack of fortitude this fucker has. I have seen him use his stature as a baseball player to get what he wants and to beat someone half to death because he did not like the man's joke(which happned to be at wells' expense i might add). Anyways, the game was very painful to watch but I did carry on and watched to the nasty end. Randy Johnson was very good as per his usual, although not as many K's as one might expect from him. Godzilla was fantastic and once again made my point that he is getting better all the time as a long ball hitter, something evidently everyone but me expected him to do from the beginning here in the US. I still don't like the yanks, but I give them their due on the first game of the season..congrats you fuckers and i hope you lose the other 161..now..where did i put my drink?