A Conversation about Personal Care Products with the b&c..

ok...it starts out like this..
b&c: Why do you have so much shit on the shower ledge? Brian and I use two things each, you got like 20 up there..you dont use them all move em out or I toss them..

moi: touch them and you die a slow painful death nimrod..i paid alot of money for that stuff.

b&c: I dont care what you paid for the stuff, its hogging all the shelf space and we cant get to our stuff. I get tired of knocking your shit off when i go to reach for my shampoo. Show me what you use...
(we walk into the bathroom and open the shower)
moi: OK...this shampoo is for those days when my hair is dry and crackely..this one is for when my hair is oily, this one is for extra moisture, this one is for...
b&c: wait..your hair must not get oily often, the bottle has dust on it..
moi: well, it doesnt get oily that often cuz my hair tends to be dry and frizzy thanks to that shitty perm i got. Ok, we can put that one in the cabinet..
b&c: Now why the hell do you have so many conditioners?
moi: Sometimes I need intensive conditioning, other times I need regular conditioning and sometimes I need to stand there for a fucking half hour and condition the shit out of it..we arent relocating ANY of the conditioners pal..get used to it..
b&c: call me pal again and I am gonna knock your ass into next week..I am just trying to clean out some of this shit I KNOW you dont use dammit..
moi:your fat ass couldnt knock me into tomorrow pal..you get winded wiping your ass..i use all these products at some point in the month..
b&c: anyone ever tell you your a mean ass ol woman?
moi: besides you? no...
b&c..i know you do not need three different body washes..
moi: yes i do..they are all for different things..this one is an exfoliant, this one is lavendar for when you stress me out, this one is a moisturizer for when i look like ...
b&c: cant you keep them in the cabinet and pull them out when you need them?
moi: no..i am not always sure what i need, and i dont want to be hopping in and out of the shower jackass..then you bitch that the floor is wet.
b&c: all we got rid of is one..we need to put more of them in the cabinet...
moi: aint gonna happen fatman..deal with it..
b&c: god your a mean ass..can you say anything nice?
moi: your attacking my personal care products..i need those things..i am old and falling apart..please dont mess w/them..ok?
b&c: since you asked nicely..they can stay..
moi: thanks fucktard, i gotta get moving, get out so i can take a shower..
b&c: which ones are you gonna use this morning?
moi:I dont know should i keep a log for gods sake?
b&c(grumbling as he exits the bathroom):you dont use half that shit and i know it..

why dont men understand?