Do we ever get a break from LIFE?

Methinks not. I think there is always something that changes our course of action..something out of the blue that we least expect.

The last of my original feral cats is gone..she left me six newborn kittens. I already HAVE six from her previous litters..and these were less than a week old..most likely only a day or two. The vet said it would be so hard to keep them alive. The feedings every couple of hours..the rubbing and caressing to get them to potty after you feed them..six of them.

The ball and chain took them to the SPCA. After I spent 24 horrific hours trying to keep them alive. I heart him for doing the dirty deed. I would of fallen apart..literally and figuratively. I know in my heart she didn't abandon them..something happened to her. She had been here almost three years..the last of 8 that all showed up within weeks of each other in the backyard. One by one, they all disappeared. They quit living here for whatever reason...most likely a dog or a car or a cat-trap waylaid them..

I still have a couple of abandoned adults to care for in my yard. But I do not love them as I loved the one-eyed Jackie. She came into my backyard as a small, wary, scared kitten. She never had to go without food, she never had to dumpster-dive or catch sparrows for her dinner, I always provided that and water. And a little convo when she wanted to sit..a few feet away, listening and watching me. She was as wild and untrusting as they come. But, she always came when she heard me call her name. No matter where she was in the neighborhood, she would come running. They all did. What feral cat in their right mind wouldn't? I gave them steak and chicken and hamburger when I cleaned out the fridge every week, on top of the dry cat food always available.

And I still have her six kittens that are not feral any longer, they are house cats now. They were taken from her when they were young and sick..or just young. Only the last one looks like her...an exact image of her. When I look at Sammy I think of Jackie now. And I know at least Jackie isn't scared and untrusting now. She can watch the birds all day without fear of dogs or neighbors that try to poison her. She can lay in the sun and relax.

I thank her for her gifts she left me during our relationship,her six kittens now growing up. Her little gifts that give me so much love. Feral cats are so much more loving than domestic cats. I swear this is true.. Its almost like they know I saved them, and they will always love me for it. Even when I cuss them for knocking everything off a shelf, or laying on a counter where they are never allowed to be, I love them and they know it. They hold no grudges and they always want my undivided attention. They trail behind me as I walk through the house, never wanting to be in a room where I am not. They lounge at my feet when I attack my keyboard, grousing for the closest spot. When I go to bed, they all have their places. And all those purrs are deafening in the quiet darkness. A symphony of purrs to lull me to sleep.

Thank you Jackie..my little one-eyed Jackal. You made life so much more interesting just by being here for so short a time. :You will be missed.