WHERE'S THE F**KING REMOTE HONEY?

I worked a long day yesterday, got home in time to catch the yank$-angels game. All I wanted to do was stretch out my tired body on the big ol bed accompanied by various cats and dogs..and watch one of the days games..

I couldn't find the remote..the ball and chain had used it last the evening before..so i went up to the living room and asked the question..where is my remote dear?

His response..I dont know..my next response..you used it last dear..find the fucker..

now..ESPN is on channel 102..the tv was set to channel 7..brillant deduction says thats alot of pushes on the manual button but i went for it..only took a min or two..and cramped up my tired fingers..but hey..i was there..

The ball and chain finally brings his ass back to the bedroom..he looks around the same areas i did..gee its not here..no shit sherlock..

He says..the cats must of done something with it..I say:ok, which one of you cats picked up the remote and hid it? fess up you bastards..

None of the cats said a word..they just stared at me..

The ball and chain starts wandering up to the living room again..i jump in front of him..YOUR NOT LEAVING TILL YOU FIND THE REMOTE ASSCLOWN..i say rather authoritatively..

he starts whining and i hold up the hand..i will hold YOUR remote hostage till you find mine..i say sweetly with a smile on my face.

he had to crawl under the bed..which is where i figured it was to begin with..this is a major undertaking for his ass, he is short armed and has a gut that would make a trucker proud..

he slaps the remote into my open palm and gives a look that should of struck me dead..i hand him back his remote for the living room TV..thank you i say, nice doing business with you!

he mumbles incoherently whilst walking the half block back up to the living room..

The angels won..it was worth pissing him off for.. :)