When your team sucks, do you call in sick more often?

I didn't have anything better to do this morning prior to the start of the Nascar race at that haven of redneck mania...Talladega, Alabama..I perused the Baseball standings.

Big Mistake..it just depressed the shit out of me.

I found that the NL West is abysmal as are the AL East and West. The teams leading these divisions have a winning percentage of: .583,except the AL West, which is worse at a miserable .500.

Only winning half their games..the team at the top of their division? What does that say about the rest of that division??

Glad you asked..of the 4 teams in the AL West, two are at an even .500. The other two are: Oakland at .478 and Seattle with a pathetic .400 winning percentage. Wouldn't you hate to go to work every day knowing the odds of a decent outcome were that low? Would you call in sick more often? The Kansas City Royal's players do..and their team has the lowest winning percentage with a lovely .238 (5 wins 16 nasty losses). Four of the eleven positions for this team have multiple players on the DL. The pen is in shambles with four guys sitting around eating sunflower seeds and getting paid for it. I have never thought it was a good idea to pay a guy his full salary if he is hurt..let the schmuck get Afflack like the rest of us. Sometimes of course, a player isn't really hurt, he is just batting in the low .150's and needs to go find his swing, or pull his head out of his ass. They tell us he tweaked something and toss him on the 15-day DL hoping he can get his shit together. For pitchers, if they can't get it over the plate, or the opposite, they serve up a big fatty with every pitch..they get to visit the DL also.

To me, this mentality rewards the screw-ups. It gives players a hundred chances to figure it out, to play up to the standards of that 10 million dollar contract they signed in the off season after finally having a decent year the prior season.

If baseball has become a business, then treat them like employees...not CEO's. Treating them like CEO's is why it costs too damn much to go to a game anymore. If you want season tickets you need to take out a second on the house.

The players union sure knows how to negotiate a contract..why didn't the teamsters use those guys when they negotiated the grocery store workers strikes in recent years? The grocery workers lost so much ground..it was sad.

In all honesty, a ball player is a limited commodity. Grocery store workers are a dime a dozen.

Its just too bad baseball is pricing itself out of the realm of grocery store workers taking their families to a game. Ah..the old days..

Former pitcher Steve Howe dies at 48

Steve Howe, the first player suspended for life for drug use or "fried and tried" as he put it was killed friday afternoon returning to SoCal from AZ when his truck rolled over. Of course they are doing toxicology tests, but does it matter if he was under the influence after the fact? I don't think so. What matters is that he did turn his life around and its sad he has left this world too soon. Sportsline.com has a writeup here. Rest in peace Steve, your demons are gone for good and there is only one guy judging you now.

Neil Youngs Living with War CD online for a free listen.

Neil Young has his new cd Living with War streaming online. He (or his people) has a blog up here on blogger no less. I have it on my sidebar also. You can listen to his full cd there as well. I am listening to it now..its giving me goosebumps, but I have always enjoyed Neil. God love ya Neil...I know I do..thanks for the CD and access to it..you rock dude, in more ways than one. The CD doesn't come out until next week, so you can listen now and buy later. It's political..far warning sportsfans.

A long hot shower does wonders for your psyche.

Tomorrow I go to the orthopedic doctor..the specialist. The guy who will tell me if I can work again..I am full of stress over this..its my life, I can not be disabled..I can walk, sit and on a good day bend down. I am tired of living on med's and I am REAL tired of sleeping because I am doped up most of the time.

I had to go pick up my x-rays, so I took a shower..I love a long,hot shower..the water felt so good, so cleansing..it washed away my anxiety, my pain, it was a miracle worker. I wanted to stand there forever..till I had to go to the doc's tomorrow. With my anxiety gone, and the pain stopped for a brief period of time, I could think straight..I pondered what I was going to do if this happens tomorrow or that happens tomorrow. I enjoyed the time to just think, in the warmth of the shower. I thought about lots of things..I relaxed and felt good! That is..until the hot water disappeared..

Its hell being snapped back into reality by the lack of hot water. Its such a buzzkill.

Waiting for the x-rays to appear was a trip. Nothing like hanging out for 45 minutes then to be told..come back around 6pm..they will be waiting for ya.

They weren't waiting for me.I had to wait another 45 minutes. There was nowhere to sit, the lobby was full of the sick and the injured...afterall, it was an Urgent Care. They are one step above an Emergency Room. Maybe a half a step, a near-riot broke out over what was on the TV..A female asked to have the channel changed. The brain dead woman working the front desk said she didn't have the remote and if the female could get up there, she could change it herself. The TV was perched roughly 10 feet up in a corner of the waiting room/lobby.

So..the hispanic woman, with impeccable english I might add, went out and got a long screwdriver from her vehicle. She put the TV on the only Spanish channel on the dial. That really impressed the 25 or so anglo's sitting in the area. I was sprawled across the check-in window, glaring at the brain dead woman when I heard loud voices saying "If you want to watch spanish TV go home or go back to Mexico". Oh no, I am not in the mood for a racial argument I thought. I am hurting, I want to go home, and I do not want to worry about a small scale riot breaking out and someone falling on me or into me. My back is hosed remember? I rapped on the two-inch thick glass to get Ms. Brain Dead's attention. I advised her to check her McDonalds mirror because there was a riot about to happen over what was on the Telly. She came flying out to the waiting area and everyone started yelling. I was praying for the xray tech to show up and hand me my xrays. Ms.Brain Dead then ran back into her hole and called security. A male that sorta resembled a homeless guy in clothing and language came into the area real quickly..why the hell can't my xrays get here that fast I was thinking..The security guy was black. Color is only mentioned because it was sorta like the United Nations in there at this point, with everyone yelling at everyone else and pointing fingers and cussing up a storm in their native language. Since I know most of the dirty words in spanish I was amazed at what the Hispanic woman was calling the anglo chick that was going off on her simultaniously. The security guy was yelling that he was going to call the sheriff if everyone didn't shut the hell up and sit down. The hispanic woman got the last word, saying she would willingly go back to jail for knocking the shit out of the white woman for dissing her.

I looked over at Ms. Brain Dead..and pleaded for her to call xray again..I begged her. I started letting my eyes well up w/tears..it worked..she called xray again and they said they would be right up.

They turned off the tv right before I left. That will teach them all to bitch about whats on the tube..

I came home and took another long, hot shower. Yes, I used all the hot water again. I took my pain meds and they are now kicking in..I hope you, my dear reader have a good evening..I am checking out for awhile...after I move a bed full of cats and dogs around. I was going to scan my xrays for you, but hell, you seen one blown out back, you have seen them all right?

Chernobyl's 20th Anniversary

ITs not a good celebration is it? Its one of fear and sadness. It's horror still affecting the millions of Russian's exposed to radiation. It will affect them and their families for generations according to doctors. Pixel Press has a haunting set of black and white images that tell the story of today in Chernobyl and the surrounding towns. Of course no one lives in Chernobyl, no one can for another 10,000 years or so. What bothers me is that people still live so close and are still receiving unhealthy doses of radiation in the food they grow and the milk from their cows. Its a very rural area. The link to Robert Knoth's photos and Antonette DeJongs essay is here.

The people over at the Nuclear Energy Institute have hired the former founder of Greenpeace, Patrick Moore, to talk up the wonders of nuclear power. He, along with Christie Whitman who ran the EPA for a few years and the state of New Jersey as their governor, are having a great time telling any of us that will listen how wonderful,cheap and safe nuclear energy is. Can you say sell-out? I can...

Speaking of Greenpeace, they released a list of 200 nuclear "near-misses" that have happened since that fateful day in 1986. Thats near misses at AMERICAN nuclear plants. Thats 200 too many in my humble opinion. How can anyone tout nuclear power when we still don't know how to deal with the leftovers..you know..the stuff that stays radioactive for over 10,000 years.

Keith Hernandez is a Putz, among other things.

The former Met 1st baseman, and now the TV announcer for the Mets has committed an unpardonable sin IMHO..the jackass whined about a female in the Padres dugout during the Padres-Mets Saturday game in San Diego,not once, not twice but many times. He couldn't keep his piehole shut or just talk about the homer Piazza had just whacked off the Mets pitcher...no sir...Keith had this to say about the female in the Padres dugout:"I'm not saying that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout". It should be noted that she is the Pad's full-time massage therapist and was high-fiving Piazza after his homer. None of the Padres seemed uncomfortable with her being there AND it should be noted that women run all over the damn clubhouse in the form of reporters and wives.

Keith was bitched out by his superiors and forced to apologize during his pre-game show on Sunday. Once again however, Keith had to slide a whine in there afterwards by remarking That only the head trainer and assistant trainer were allowed in the dugout per MLB's rule book.

Keith..are you that anti-female or just an asshole extraordinaire? What's the big friggin deal who was in the dugout? You look like a sexist sumbitch Keith..just an fyi there buddy..

Our PSA for this quarter

This lovely site lets you compare prices in your neck of the woods with other cities in the U.S. This could either be a good thing if your in Montana or Idaho..or a bad,depressing thing if you live in Cali..as I do. The site is called the Gas Temperatue Map. The linkage is here. Thanks to Steve O. over at Bring it on! for the 411 :)


The bottom pic is from last summer when we all were pissing and moaning about prices..BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA..its worse..so I pulled it out of mothballs..

What a long strange trip its been..for Dutch Daulton

Darren Daulton is a cutie..nice buns, afterall, he was a catcher. I never figured him for a rocket scientist..but I also never figured him for a metaphysicist type. I do not condone or abhor his belief in another plane of being. I have heard the hypothesis quite a few times in my life. It makes sense if you follow it from the beginning actually. But then, snakeoil salesmen are good at making their case too, aren't they? If Dutchie hadn't been busted for spousal abuse numerous times and the occasional DUI,and time in the slammer..more people might not dismiss his theories.

What's sad is that all the sports media conglom's are jumping all over this right now. Its in print over at SI, its little essay's on ESPN and Real Sports w/Bryan Gumball(not a typo). They all let him have his say, then they tell ya what a putz he has been for the last 10 years. I think his ex-wife isn't helping matters either, but then..she thinks he's nuts.

I don't think Dutchie is nuts, just maybe a tad misguided. Or perhaps he isn't following the program in the manor its meant to be..I don't know. I just know the press is having a field day with this shit. And its pissing me off. If you don't have a clue what I am talking about, a decent explanation of metaphysical belief is here. Its that time/space thingy where everything exists on a different reality level..I am not in the mood to explain it to you, my dear reader :P

Boston's World Series Baseball will reside in the Hall of Fame and other gems of note.

The Boston Red Sawx and their former 1st baseman Doug Mientkiewicz have finally reached an agreement on the baseball from the final out from the 2004 World Series. You remember that WS I hope, it ended the curse of the Bambino for the BoSox which started in 1918 or some such nonsense. Beantown gets visitation rights according to sportsline.com

Neither Dougie or the BoSox are saying what the agreement is between them. Doug did refer to the baseball as his “retirement fund”. Since he is playing for one of the worst teams in baseball, the Kansas City Royals this year, we only hope Doug got some green for that baseball.

The Rockies/Giants game Sunday was interesting and fun-filled. I think the asshats set a new record for ejections without a fight breaking out. A total of four batters got beaned..jesus christ in a thong... and five ejections..two of whom...lol..were the coaches of each team,hell in the FIRST inning alone the starting pitcher for the Giants, Matty Mo got the gate...Matty did bean two guys in the first inning, in defense of the rookie ump.. They were throwing at guys all weekend in Colorado, Saturday that crazy mofo Jose Mesa hitting Omar Visquel for like the fifth time in some long, dumb-ass feud they got going on. Ah..baseball..the childs game thats played for Million$ of dollars by grown men with HUGE egos.

Nursing Slang.

This post had me rolling..I was crying and laughing so hard my cats stopped running around like banshees and stared at me. Its from a new link on my sidebar whom I call "Nurse Rachet". This dude cracks me up..seriously he is very funny and when I need a laugh, I check him out. The link to the post in the title is here. Some of the ones that just killed me were:

A smurf: Somebody in respiratory distress.
O-sign: Unconscious with the mouth open.
Q-sign: Same as above, with the tongue out.
Gone for a breathing treatment: Left the floor to go smoke.

Go visit his blog..he's great, you won't be sorry if you like dry humor and bbq stuff.

Vintage films,shorts and propaganda for sale

This site is such a trip! Its ancient WWII propaganda films, religious shorts, VD warnings,you name it, they got it..so long as its ancient and propagandic in nature..don't know how these guys got the stuff on DVD, but they do. They are called Singular Films..check em out here. I hope everyone had a wonderful 4/20 :)

Forbes values the Yank$ @ 1 Billion big ones..

That magazine about all things monetary has figured out what the Yank$ are worth on the open market..$1.026 Billion..thats a B..The Red Sox are next in line at a measly $617 Million.

The Redskins..with those ancient hogettes still sitting front and center every football sunday, are worth $1.26 Billion.

Not bad for a bunch of guys playing a childs game...

HNT shot at sunset thru a bank of fog..

There was a huge fogbank when the sun started its descent..and I figured..shit..no shot today. But then..the sun hit a spot above the fogbank..and presto..It's my sista in the background..its been awhile since I took the pic..But I love it..and it takes me back to a tranquil vacation a few years ago..that I could really friggin use right about now..at Hobson..god I love camping on the coast of Cali..

For the 411 on Half-Nekkid Thursdays(HNT), go check out Osbasso's site with all the rules for participation here or go here to see this weeks Mystery HNT guest in all her glory :P

Speaking of my back being totally thrashed..

The Doc I saw today..finally..said and I quote: "Jesus Christ that is one fucked up back woman".

Well, he didn't say it that way exactly..more like "Did your employer know your back was that bad when they hired you?" and my personal favorite...."Do you realize you have four discs that have less than one-third the thickness of a normal spine?"

I said.."I am not normal Doc, that makes it ok right?" He didn't laugh. He didn't smile..he really didn't have a sense of humor to save his ass.

He continued down that road...saying.."I will not release you to go back to work..ever." You will have to see a back specialist in order to be cleared to return to work."

I said under my breath...shit.

Then he really dropped the bomb.He said:"I don't think you are going to find a doctor that will allow you to return to work, you are most likely going to be declared permanently disabled".

After I picked my bottom jaw off the linoleum..I said.."WHAT? WHY?" I launched into a diatribe that used the phrase"I just need a week off then I will be back to a total range of motion" about fifty times. The Doc told me to stop yelling at him at this point in our convo.

He called me argumentative. He said its not his decision..he's not a back specialist..I need an MRIand perhaps an exploratory to determine if there is even more damage..but from what he can see in a simple xray..I will never work again. He dragged me over to look at the xrays, pointing out what was wrong..I finally told him to shut up..I heard enough. I would go see a specialist and quit trying to convince him I would be just peachy after a week off of work.

I knew he was right..but I didn't know it was that bad. Funny how you get used to things being normal, until someone points out... its far from it.

I am not ready to be declared permanently disabled..far from it. I can still stand up straight..on a good day.

I came home and laid on my bed...staring out the open window,processing all the words I heard him say and the images I saw on that grainy-ass xray.It was a beautiful day in BakoTown today too..

Then I cried myself to sleep surrounded by cats and dogs that seemed to look at me like they knew something was up...things weren't..normal anymore.

100 years ago today..the San Francisco Quake hit.

I woke up at 5am because my back is totally thrashed from working 20 hours this weekend. I looked at the clock..














As a Cali Native, you remember this stuff..when it happened and the time. You always remember the time.For this quake it happened at 5:12 am. Earthquakes leave a lasting impression, I have been through enough of them. I wasn't here for THIS one however, but i have read enough about it and the devastation. The fires did almost as much damage than the actual Quake,and killed many of those trapped. The bottom pic was taken from a hot air balloon. The fires lasted for 4 days. The quake was felt from Coos Bay to L.A..

People who have never lived in Cali are fond of saying they couldn't deal with the quakes. I say I would rather live through a quake than a tornado. But thats because I have never been through a tornado. I bet most people that fear quakes have never been through one either. They are kind of like a roller coaster ride, the big ones are anyway. You can't stand up, you get tossed about and it only lasts for a minute or two. The noise of the building shaking and the blinds rattling are deafening. When I owned my parrot, he always alerted me a few seconds prior to the start of a quake by screaming and thrashing about in his cage. Scientists aren't sure why some animals know they are coming before they hit. Then I had a dog that would sleep through the entire thing like my son does.

An excellent link to the Mother of all Quakes is here at the S.F. Museum. Perhaps people from outside Cali think I am strange for posting about this today..but like I said..you never forget the biggies if you lived here for any length of time, and this one 100 years ago today was the biggie.

The BEST Fark thread I have ever read

Jesus christ in a thong..this was worth the time it took to read the whole thread..a farker that goes by the moniker bigz2k posted today that he had his nads caught in the slats of his chair..seems the dude surfs the net naked..

I gotta start paying for Total Fark..the link to the thread for non-paying farkers is here. I needed a laugh..and it was at bigz's expense..thanks dude! :P

Iran's new Prez smells bad and has NO sense of humor

Apparently someone text-messaged the dipshit Prez of Iran that he needed to bathe more often. He always does look a tad messy in my opinion..

The anonymous text message cost the head of the Iranian phone company his job, landed four people in jail and the dipshit Prez then said whoever sent him the anonymous message was in cahoots with the Israel Foreign Intelligence Service.

Somehow, this coming from someone who has questioned that the Holocust never happened..does not surprize me one iota. Remember sportsfans..this jackass is running a country that is also learning the fine art of enriching uranium..

The linkage to the article is here.

How big IS that dog..or..if those were MY tax dollars I want a bottle too.

The Oceanside,CA director of the Humane Society ordered..ahem..3600 Vicodin tablets..for her DOG. Dan Simmons, a special agent for the DEA, alleged that Stacy Steel directed Humane Society workers to order 36 bottles of Vicodin between Oct 2005 and Feb 2006. Seems ol' Stacy quit her $95K per year job shortly after the visit from the DEA folks. She was using the drug registration number of a former Vet that worked at the facility. WTF was this broad thinking? Its a controlled substance sista..go see Alex and buy a clue. Link to the rest of the article is here.

In other news designed to make drinkers happy..or make drinkers out of the entire human race..someone is trying to invent a drink that will get you lit up like the proverbial Xmas tree without all those pesky side effects. You know..killing your liver, waking up hungover, etc. The best part is the guys name..Professor Nutt. Linkage is here.

And from our WTF? Department comes this gem:

DEA agent who shot himself in the foot during a weapons demonstration in front of school children...is suing the Government. He is a tad pissed that the video made it online and now everyone knows what a friggin jackass this guy is. Personally, I am worried that we have wingnuts like this in the DEA in the first place. I hope his career is ruined..he's a felony-dumb dipshit that shouldn't be allowed to handle firearms and wear a badge. Our friends at the SmokingGun have the story AND the video here. ENJOY! :P

This weeks HNT..my son got Inked!

He finally spilled his guts..he said he had it done weeks ago but didn't tell me..

I love a good tat. But he says he is going to go all the way and get both arms sleeved..MY BABY!!!!!!!!!

He started telling me the meaning of the tat but noticed how depressed I looked after hearing he is going to tatoo his entire torso eventually..

ah well..its his life..er body..right?

Happy HNT ya'all..

You can get the goods on Half-Nekkid Thursdays here.

An Inconvenient Truth

I don't often post the same thing on both my blogs..but this one is worth it to me. This isn't political..its about the quality of our lives..

Al Gore has made a movie around his speech's last year regarding Global Warming. You can view the trailer here. You can go to the website for climatecrisis.net here and take a short test on how you factor into this crisis that will eventually overtake us all if nothing is done to stop it. I saw one of Al's speech's last year on this subject and it was an excellent presentation of cause and effect. I will see the movie which debuts May 24th. I hope everyone that cares about the quality of their life and the lives of their children's children will see it too. The day will come when there is nothing we can do about Global Warming. We aren't there yet...but if we continue to ignore the problem, it will arrive..maybe not in my life or yours, or my sons..but it will happen. You think Katrina was bad? Wait till there are millions of refugee's from coastal areas around the world trying to get to higher ground..

The title says volumes..it is afterall, An Inconvenient Truth.

First week of the season was..well, interesting.

The following teams have lost more games than they have won:
Yanks
World Series Champs ChiSox
Beloved Padres

The teams listed below are hovering around .500:
Braves
Baltimore
Those hated Dodgers

Surprising Teams doing well:
Detroit
Colorado
Cincinnati
Mets(not really a surprise, with THAT payroll)

Now, the first bunch of yahoo's busted for steroids in the "new" era are four minor league pitchers..pitchers!!!! Two from the Cincinnati Reds and one each from the Mets and KC Royals. Those four gents get to cool their heels for 50 games..almost half the season. None has ever pitched in the bigs. Some folks will risk everything I guess, for a shot at the big leagues. I find this so very sad. I should note that one of the Reds was popped for something "other" than performance-enhancing drugs. His privacy prevents the home office from naming the drug he was busted for.

I watched Espn's Bonds on Bonds..only if you actually LIKE Barroid would I suggest watching it. It felt like I was a voyeur or some shit..plus I needed a shower afterwards. They attempted to get him to discuss the steroid thang..but Barroid wasn't taking the bait, he kept saying he didn't know what it looked like, smelled like, how you injected it..etc.. My eyes started glazing over and I have to admit I wasn't really paying attention after the first 10 minutes.

Got this from Seamus' blog..

Apparently I am fond of the f-bomb..among other things..Seamus has it on his blog and I had to try it..it scans your blog for words that are used often. The link to the site, which btw, wants to sell you a T-shirt with this shit on it is here. I resisted the urge to buy the T-shirt :P

The lost gospel of Judas

Some folks have probably heard about this newly released set of archives which purport to change the way Judas should be viewed in history. In these documents it is written that Jesus asked Judas to betray him, which radically departs from the accepted Christian belief that Judas was..well..a Judas, a prick that exposed Jesus for his own gain.

The National Geographic online site has an exhibit of these documents which is quite interesting and detailed. The link is here.

This amused me for 10 minutes.

http://www.google.com/Easter/feature_easter.html

Si se puede

In spanish it means: Yes, we can. And we did today with crowds estimated by the Bakersfield PD at between 7-10,000 strong marched today from Jastro park.That is also the park where we read the names last summer of the 2,000 soldiers killed Iraq. Today was also the birthday of Dolores Huerta, co-founder of the UFW, the United Farm Workers who was in attendance. It wasn't just people of Hispanic descent, it was all races, all ages, all walks of life.


Video to local coverage is here. If your computer is video-challenged a write-up is here.

God's places

This site has some great pictures. Its a travelogue of historical and religious places. The link is here.

I am off to the immigration march. Have a good monday.

Only thing your getting this weekend out of moi.

I have to go to work. I am tired and tired of working non-stop. So I will leave you something to ponder. Its from a rant I put up on my political blog:

As John Kerry so eloquently put it whilst talking about the bible and our current crop of elected officials:"I will tell you, nowhere in there,nowhere,not one page,not one phrase uttered and reported by the Lord Jesus Christ,can you find anything that suggests that there is a virtue in cutting children from Medicaid and taking money from the poor and giving it to the rich"

Ok..I have a post script..then I am off to bed. I live in a poor neighborhood because its real and I am more comfortable here than in a upscale one. Does that make me a hypocrite? I think it means life at this level is more about making it to the next day and not about what you wear,drive or who you vote for.

I live in the OD

My mail says I live in Bakersfield. But I don't...Oildale isn't part of Baketown, no way no how. Residents take exception to being tossed in with Baketown. We are part of the county, not the city and that is a world of difference to those that have grown up here or lived here..forever.

Anyone that has been down on their luck in this neck of the San Joaquin valley has lived in the OD. Its an old, "down-trodden" part of the "Bakersfield" area that you will go through if you ever fly out of here. It was originally small wood-frame houses with HUGE fucking yards. The sq. footage of the yard was usually more than the house. Over time it has been subdivided and apartments shoved into the back of the property, or in some cases the house was razed and a cheesy duplex or triplex was wedged in. NO parking was added of course, thats expensive land just for cars. Cars, that for the most part, residents don't own. I have never seen so many adults on bikes in my life..and I don't mean the ones with engines. These are people powered means of transportation. The kids are bad-mannered. Husbands and wives don't have a problem with airing their dirty laundry so loudly that a square block radius can hear the nasty details. We have more than our share of spun-out people that have that wild look in their eyes and work on their cars at 1 am.

Some parts of Oildale don't even have sidewalks, or gutters for the rain runoff. We are basically the armpit of Bakersfrigginfield..which if you think about it..is hysterical.

Its different being an 08'er, which btw is the last two digits of our zipcode.Merle Haggard was born here. A railroad boxcar is still around that he lived in. I shit you not,he surely did. Buck Owens recording studio is just a block away, closed down and looking abandoned since he moved his operations over to Sillect Ave. awhile back. That wonderful tune "The streets of Bakersfield" was written just a couple blocks from my house in a motel that has long since been torn down. Nascar drivers have grown up here and still come home when they race in the state. Harvick used to race at our lil short track.... that one I can hear on a summers night if I stand at the front door and quit talking for a minute or two, which ain't no easy feat for moi. Tony Stewart uses some of the shops around here to produce parts for him.

Train tracks run through various areas and its a bitch when they play "fuck around" and run the boxcars back and forth over a major street during lunch time when everyone wants to get somewhere quickly.

The residents are primarily white folks, proud to call themselves "Okies". The people with brown and black skin have started moving in, much to the chagrin of the rednecks that still refer to black people as "colored folks". The meth flows freely I am sure, god knows you can smell it cooking if the breeze blows right on a hot summer night. Everyone owns a dog or two and they don't nueter the males, letting them roam the streets when a female is in heat somewhere, which pisses off the postman to no end...and me too. The cats..ah..we could do a whole post on the cats in Oildale..but not now.

So the duplexes and triplexes are on top of each other and every couple of buildings there is still an old house or two, which is what I live in. Which brings me to my current rant....

If that fucking sumbitch next door doesnt stop warming up his damn truck for 20 minutes at exactly 11:45 each and every fucking nite..I am gonna put a cap in his ass. Its spring time for gods sake and the temperature doesnt dip below 50 anymore you dumb bastard. Put the key in and crank it up, wait maybe five minutes TOPS and then drive your happy ass to work. I am tired of my windows rattling whilst you "warm" up your friggin 25 year old Dodge with that big damn engine which I am sure your proud of, but buddy..its an old rust bucket and I need my sleep.

Sorry no HNT..

See the post below for the reason..I am back to working 60 hours a week.

Send Lawyers,Guns and Money..the shit has hit the fan.

As my two regular readers know..I recently gave two weeks notice at work.

Big deal..I retracted it after my boss hired someone to help me out and swore she would hire one more real soon..HAH!

The 'guy' she hired quit..and he didn't DO any of the stores he was supposed to..wtf is that about? people have no pride in their work? If you wish to quit, do it muthafucka, just finish the job first.

This is the busiest 3 weeks ahead..I literally inventory all the products in the six grocery stores in my territory..my estimated hours for this task alone..for a week..ready... 30...thats NOT a typo..30. Those hours do NOT include my weekly tasks and requirements..which usually come out to 25-30..on a good week.

I need a gun so I can blow that friggin fool that quit after two weeks to hell. I will need a lawyer when I plead insanity because this fucking job is driving me nuts. I will need the money to purchase a gallon or two of Skyy vodka since realistically that is my only legal option at this point.

Homeland Security Ass't Press Sec arrested on 23 counts of internet child porn charges.

Brian J. Doyle 55 years of age, thought he was talking to a 14 year old girl on the internet. He sent her numerous sex tapes. He was actually talking to a cop in Florida. He has been arrested and is waiting extradition to FL. on 23 counts of sexual deviancy.

What makes this news is what Brian did for a living. He was the Assistant Press Secretary to the Dept of Homeland Security.

He found her profile on the internet. He initiated sexually explicit convo's with "her". The sumbitch actually told the child what he did for a living both in IM messages and phone conversations...Talk about stupid..or he just had an ego the size of Texas, I don't know which. This jackass is 4th in command at the Dept. of Homeland Security.

One would wonder why his propensity to engage minor's in sexual repartee wasn't picked up during his background investigation. I have a tendacy to think some of these guys are very good at leading their double lives.

He isn't the only federal employee caught in an online sexual sting lately. Some fuckward at NASA was caught with a shitload of child porn on his computer. He hasn't been arrested.

It makes you want to keep your kids off the net. Or install some major spyware and read where they been every night after they go to bed. I thank my lucky stars my son is in his 20's and I don't have to deal with kinda fear. Child predators are everywhere, at every turn, in every chat room and message board. Why are the males of our world so fucked up w/regard to children and sex? Don't they want to have sex with adult's anymore? Whats the fucking deal? I just don't get it...why its proliferating so much in the last 10 years. But its sick shit and I want them to fry..or at the very least get a cell visit from some guy that will really make them squeal like a pig.

Opening day..was..well..interesting.

First off, lemme say the DODGERS SUCK!!!! :) Hell-A and Atlanta played a slug fest today with a final score of 11-10..jesus christ in a thong..thats some pitching ain't it!

The cubbies(this is for DAVE) beat the living shit out of the Cinncy Reds 16-7. Now, I posted about this game last week. The Shrub(aka President Bush)tossed out the first pitch for the Reds, and I told ya that wasn't a good thing..I rest my case.

My beloved Padres beat the Giants and Barroid Bonds 6-1. Barry got a ground rule double and that was about it for the Giants..too bad, thanks for coming..drive home safely. Peavy pitched a decent game after he settled down.

The Boston Redsox won with Schilling on the mound over the poor Ass-Rangers. Made me smile, I used to love ol Curt when he was a Dback..that world serious where they beat the yanks in the 7th game..I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had just moved back to San Diego from Mesa, AZ. Most thrilling world series in years.Dbacks have sucked ever since.

St. Looey Cards crucified those gents from Philly 13-5. Pujols went yard TWICE even! Hope that made Bruce smile..he's been under the weather lately. Scotty Rolen hit a grannie and it was a massacre sportsfans you could of went home after the 4th inning when the Cards got eight guys across homeplate.

Dbacks lost to the Rockies but it did take 11 innings till their pitching went into the toilet. Webb pitched a good game,only giving up one run..thats the story of Webbs life, he pitches well and the bullpen fucks him in the ass more times than not.

The Mets beat the gNats 3-2. Former Padre X. Nady went 4 for 4. I knew the Padres screwed up by trading his ass for Cameron..bastards. The dos Carlos' went 0-fer..leaving like 6 guys on base..way to go you overpaid hacks. Pauly LoDuca went 2 for 4. I liked Pauly even as a Dodger, good catchers are worth their weight in gold..speaking of catchers....

Mikie Piazza hit a homer in his first at bat off the first pitch from Jason Schmidt..I went screaming through the house singing his praises and forgetting that I thought it was the dumbest move they have ever made by acquiring him in the offseason. He tied the game 1-1 and the Padres never looked back.

Ok..I fucked off all afternoon, gotta go finish up work..have a good monday evening..stay dry..its been raining all day up and down Cali..

Edit: Bucks funeral was filled with music and funny stories about him. It started with Chris Hillman of the Byrds singing "Turn,turn,turn". Dwight sang a hymn through his tears as did Trace Atkins and Brad Paisley. Lulu from Hee Haw closed the funeral with a beautiful rendition of "Amazing Grace". There wasn't a dry eye in the house or like me, watching on tv. Even the tv announcers were all red-eyed and choked up at the close of the service. It was a fitting sendoff for a man who loved this town and his legion of fans so much he played for them inspite of feeling ill the night before he died.

Let the Games begin!!!!!!

Tomorrow,(although technically today but there is only ONE game)..the most hallowed of days..the start of the 2006 Baseball season. God, I get wet just thinking about it..well, kinda, you gotta know me to understand my obsession with baseball. The off-season was very stressful for me and I want my baseball now dammit! Lots of changes..

We won't discuss Barroid I swear to god..I have ranted enough on him as of late.

The Padres have changed so much I need a depth chart, as does most of the fan base. They gutted their pitching staff and my beloved Mark Loretta is now a Red Sox. That ain't so bad..I root for them as well, being a former resident of the Fenway area in Beantown...but I digress..the Padres are fighting an uphill battle with none other than..Mikie Piazza. Don't get me started..I hate that signing with every fiber of my being. My other NL West team, the Dbacks will either get better or lanquish in the bottom of the division again, they dumped Troy boy and his inflated salary. The Padres "real" catcher wasn't resigned, Ramon Hernandez was signed by the O's..speaking of the O's..

Slammin' Sammy Sosa is a man without a team. He wasn't offered arbitration by the O's. Only one team offered Sammy a contract this offseason. It was the Gnats..er..Nationals, and it was incentive-laden up the wazoo. Sammy politely declined. Wasn't it just six years ago him and Big Mac were chasing Maris? How fast they fall from grace ya know?

Grady Little, is now managing the hated Dodgers. I like ol' Grady but I hate the Dodgers...nuff said.

I still look for the Cards to be a strong team in the NL Central. They have the god of baseball..aka Albert Pujols. I like Pujols better than A-rod both as a player and a person.

I pray the Red Sox will dominate the AL East. I don't give a shit about the AL Central otherwise known as Comedy Central. The ChiSox should continue to lead that division, the rest will be playing catchup.

I would like to see someone other than the Braves do well in the NL East. With some major changes in both staff(Leo Mazzone left for the O's) and players in Atlanta there could be another team leading that division by the all star game. Mazzone had been the medicene man with their pitching staff for the last..god knows how many years. Could it be the Mets year? I dunno..Omar has been touted as the GM to get it done for the Muts..er..Mets. When is he gonna deliver? They have the two Carlo's..Beltran and Delgado. Both of those men were good at one point point in their careers prior to landing on the Mets and either got hurt or just couldn't cut it in Gotham last year. Cameron is now a Padre..see? I told ya the Padres went nuts on the open market this year, and Cammie's ass is starting the season on the DL..it doesnt bode well for my boys in San Diego..ok, onward sportsfans.

The AL West..I root for the Angels. Its usually them or the A's making a run. I wouldn't mind the Ass-Rangers doing something for a change, I love Buck Showalter from his days w/the Dbacks...my other NL West team.

Anyway..I gotta set up my rosters in my fantasy leagues. I cut back to five teams this year. Have a good weekend..batter up :)

Edit: Buck gets buried today. Its on locally so I am gonna watch it and tape it in case anyone wants a copy. I know my dad does...he made me watch Hee Haw as a child. Its been sad and quiet in BakeTown this weekend. NL Belardes,our local author, writer,podcaster and blogger extraordinaire has some nice posts up on his blog including a podcast exclusive interview with Buck's drummer on the nite before Buck died..Buck wasn't feeling good, but he played because people had come from Canada to see him. Whatta guy..whatta man..whatta legend. Did you know Buck was one of the first to play the solid body electric guitar? No shit sportsfans.

And from our WTF? department...

He reminds me of Elvis Costello..sort of..but this friggin housefly that is actually wearing glasses created for him/her by a german company using laser micro-machining. This is NOT photoshopped. Its from a National Geographic article you can check out here. I find this a tad strange..actually very strange that they would do this..but it does sorta showcase the company's talents.. but its still creepy.

If you haven't heard enough about Barroid...

A sportsline editorial about the investigation and Bud Selig. I think it mirrors most of my thoughts on the issue, with more emphasis on Seligs weak-ass motivation..or lack thereof. Here is the linkage.