Brian is my son. I already told you about Baby in a january HNT here. Both these souls moved into my home within months of each other a couple years back.Brian came home because his life was on the skids..literally. He tried to commit suicide right before Thanksgiving two years ago. He was living in AZ with a couple of roomies. The roomies had ALOT of disposable income, Brian did not. But, he tried nonetheless to keep up w/the jones, becoming quite the party animal. He lost his job and couldn't pay his rent. Instead of telling his roomies, or calling me for a loan..he pretended to go to work everyday for a couple weeks, looking vainly for a job, any job to pay his bills.
He didnt find one. The roomies were busting his chops about his bills. He slit his wrists one day while they were all at work. Its gotta be tough to be a 23 year old that thinks life is over because you cant pay your rent and for some reason you can't tell anyone whats going on.
I drove to AZ on Thanksgiving day, after his roomies called and told me what had happened. I went straight to his room to see it, I dont know why but I did. Brian was hospitalized in the local pysch ward for his attempt and being a former psych major in college I figured seeing his room would give me a clue to what was going on in his sad little mind. It did..
It was a stark room, void of any personal effects or mementos. The only thing that personalized the room was a huge poster over the bed. It was a poster of a gigantic mushroom cloud in the desert and in the foreground a tiny lone figure facing his impending demise. That said volumes about my only child to me. I laid on his bed and cried.
Fast forward to the present. I brought Brian back to Cali when he got out of the psych ward after a week of counseling and therapy, I knew he wasn't "fixed" yet, but I felt coming home with me would help him to get his shit together again. My husband got him a job in new home construction plumbing. Brian now has a trade he loves and has been working non-stop for over two years. He moved out on his own finally about six months ago. He is doing great and once again loves life. He doesn't drink anymore and is his old self, happy and funny. He thinks of Baby as his dog and wanted to take her when he moved out but couldnt. I wouldnt let him take her anyway..but dont tell him that.
13 people gave us their .02 cents:
Awww, but he IS a cute doggie!
HHNT, Sugar!
What a sad story with a very happy ending....just the way it should be. I don't understand why we can't ask for help when we become so desperate....like they say, there are three words that are just the hardest to say....I need help. I am so happy your story is ongoing, for your families sake....depression hits hard, and is one of the most dangerous emotions to detect in most people because we cover it until we can't take it no more. I know, I was there more once...
Best wishes to you, Brian and the Baby!
You must be (and should be) proud of him. Moms... they are the best! :) Cheers and Happy HNT!
Dusty, what a beautiful post. I'm crying..
I was a cutter, two years ago in a very dark place of my life.
My scars on my wrists remind me of who I am and where I've been.
And I weep as a mother,
at the overwhelming emotion it must of been to sit in that room, in his "space."
Brian and Baby.
Great picture,
love the smile. It must be nice to see that, to see him in his new "space"
I'm so glad that very handsome young man wasn't successful in taking his life! Such a sad story, but a beautiful pic! Glad he found his smile.
Happy HNT! :)
Nice pic. Good doggie! HHNT!
I remember that day...I was worried about not only Brian, but you too. I'm thrilled he has come out on the good side, and I know a lot of it is because you're his mother and love him like no one else. Despite your gruff exterior, Boo, you have a good soul, and that's one of the reasons I love you so much. :)
what a beautiful post, it has a message for all of us, thank you for sharing that with us...and such a cutie too. HHNT!
I am inspired ~ thanks :) good shot, too ~HHNT~
Awwwwwwww aren't they cute! Makes ya wanna get on the floor and snuggle em both.
HHNT hun xxx
peace and health to both of you. not an easy place to be or recover from. glad things have changed.
Wow! I wish you both the best..and all the happiness in the world!
Beautiful dog too!
Happy HNT!
What an incredible mother you are. You must own that YOU are the reason your child breathes. (well, and him, of course) You brought him into this world, and thankfully, have sought to it that he remain.
I wonder if you are aware of the impact you have.
Thank you for showing up in my space. You make a difference.
Not just because you love your kiddo, but because you choose to love, period.
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