Friday, May 13, 2005 | By: Dusty Taylor

Going to SD for the weekend.a primer of sorts..

I could NOT post this friday morning when i wrote it..blogger was being a bitch and i had to save it or lose it...kiss my ass blogger..wrap your blogging lips round my arse you lousy bitch..

I take off this afternoon for the city of my birth..San sister and her family are going to Houston to see my neice graduate from Sam Houston State and they need a babysitter for the hounds of the baskerville. She is a criminology major who went to school on a full-ride scholarship in softball. Man..can that girl hit the shit out of a softball! She did it in FOUR YEARS TOO FOLKS...Since fighting crime runs in the family(my father,2 uncles, a cousin and my bro) she has chosen a proud profession. I am usually on the other side of that coin however..being an ol hippie and all..but thats another story for another time..

The trip will hopefully be uneventful, the dogs will not die, I wont get arrested and I will be able to catch a few decent sunsets or sun rises with my trusty digital camera. The only reason i bring up arrests is that road rage rears its ugly head for me when i return to the "city". Bakersfield has no traffic to speak of, and San Diego has it seemingly 24/7 these days..I have a hard time with idiot drivers that venture out onto the roadways..i feel they should all be forced to take public transportation for their indescretions behind the wheel. If you can't keep up in the fast lane move your happy ass over pal..nothing makes me crazy like some jackass doing 65 in the Left Lane and the lane next to him is friggin motto is this: The Left Lane is for passing or breaking the sound barrier..whichever seems most relavent at the time. Now most of SD's freeways have a minimum of four to six lanes..the slow moving mofo's can use the right three, the far left one is reserved for nimrods such as myself that relish a nice drive at 80-85 MPH. My rule of thumb is to always go a minimum of 10 miles over the speed long as the traffic is moving smoothly and its safe to do so..i do not drive 80 in construction zones..i learned my lesson years ago when i got a nice speeding ticket for 600 bucks..but i do feel its my unalienable right to drive like a bat out of hell at all times. I travel for a living and getting from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time makes my life easier and I have more play time to boot. I do not tailgate, I do however cuss like a trucker and flip them off when I finally get around the offending slow driver. IF someone is dumb enough to tailgait moi however I give them a "brakecheck" and if they dont back off another one just a tad harder..GET OFF MY ASS MORON I do not wish to have you in my trunk or backseat when the old codger in front of me brakes for no apparent friggin reason or the traffic suddenly comes to a screaching halt as its want to do in Hell-A or SD.. Now..if I am in the fast lane and doing at least 15 miles over the speed limit then I AINT MOVING OVER..its just that weaving around in and out of lanes at 85-95 mph is dangerous and frankly I am too old to be pulling that shit.. let the bozo in the honda that sounds like a fucking lawn mower go around me..i will catch his ass on the next hill anyways..

7 people gave us their .02 cents:

daisyduke said...

as you drive down highway 45, there's a place at the side of the road that has a statue of sam houston that stands about 100 ft tall. i always call my mom as i pass it, because that means that i'm about 45 min from her house...(whew, now you can sleep tonight with that tidbit)
I played softball from the time I was about 9...we had those league of their own skirts. I was never good, but played all through high school. and even intramural in college...i even tried to gain notoriety playing in the adult leagues. i love to see those girls play...i would have sold my soul to be good enough to play in college...and criminology!? very smart move. i got the more useless BA version...damn. if i had it to do all over again~
hurry up and come home, by the way. i miss you!!!!

Rat In A Cage said...

Aren't softball girls .. well, butches?

Hey, so you are the slow ass driver going 85 slowing me down. I loved the speed of sound line - I even got the 4 cylinder Chevy Aveo up over 100! Zoom zoom!

Hope no one died, other than the 65 miles per hour morons.


Bruce said...

"Aren't softball girls .. well, butches?" I used to coach women's softball and, believe me, 98% aren't. In fact one of those women I coached just happens to be the mother of Detroit Tigers 3rd baseman Brandon Inge.

daisyduke said...

i've been called a lot of things in my life, believe you me...but doing a full brainscan, butch or dike dont fall into the list. i'm sure you didn't mean to imply dusty's neice is a bruce, you gotta admit, there is a higher percentage than just 2% that probably do qualify, though...

another good one to annoy tailgaters on the highway is the oh so convenient, "i think i need to wash my windshield now" trick.

Bruce said...

Ok...maybe 5%...;-)

Rat In A Cage said...

Gee, can't anyone take a damn joke? I was busting on Daisy. Chill, everyone. Mother of a Tiger doesn't rule out Butch at all if I remember my calculus laws of reasoning.

The windshield one is great.

I like to have even more fun by yanking on the emergency brake which does not illuminate the brake lights. You want to see someone freak out - by the time he realizes he's about to slam into me, he's dropped the cell phone & spilt his coffee all over his lap. Of course, there's a heightened chance of collision, but still a fun one if you're in the mood for it.

Like Newsweek, I'll make a full retaction of my Butch comment and just hope it appeases everyone before their panties get so tight that they have to riot, loot & kill.

I retract my butch comment.

And I thought I was uptight today.

To be thoroughly clear, the "NEPALM" was only a joke too.


dusty said...

my neice is a gourgeous 5'5" natural blonde that plays catcher and called every single friggin game for the Bearkats this year..oh..and she also made the NCAA Academic Team this year..which cant be easy to do..carry an A average and play a sport..she comes home thursday and is going into the San Diego police academy..she cant be a Fed until she is 25..shes only 21 and graduated in four count em four years..