I usually try to keep my blog light-hearted..sometimes I get a lil mushy and gushy..but this post is serious..sorry folks if you do not like serious get the fuck out now..come back later ok?
My mum..the lord high leader of drama is pulling another one of her trips..she is in denial about her emphysema…well, she has landed her boney ass back in the hospital again..she lives in Missouri(thank god) and my middle sibling resides with her. I have nothing but sympathy and sorrow for my sis, I could not live with that woman..Now, being a smoker I understand the risks involved and I have vowed to give up cigs eventually..especially if my health starts taking a downward slide due to the cigs..my mother refuses to give the bastards up..she is going down the tubes at a rapid rate this last year ..i fail to see why she is so hellbent on quickening her death..if she wants to die I will buy her a gun and show her how to use it..personally I can not fathom why someone would keep doing something so harmful to themselves..none of us smoke around her, we try to convince her to quit by telling her we love her and want her around to see all the grandkids everyone keeps making..my yuppie sista from hell even has the woman stay w/her all winter which god knows is a major chore and possibly the reason the YSFH becomes a real bitch for those months..ANYWAYS..the woman told my poor sista NOT TO TELL ANY OF US ON THE LEFT COAST..can you believe it? To put my poor sista in THAT position is so pissing me off..i am foaming at the mouth just thinking of it again..what if the ol bat died? My sis would of hated herself for following her request…I personally would of told her to fuck off and called everyone..course that’s just me..i very seldom do what I am told..Karen..my sis, asked her why this stupid edict and mommy dearest response was..”I don’t want to hear any shit from them about my smoking”
Poor K finally could not handle it and spilled her guts to the youngest sibling Laurie Saturday afternoon..L sounded drunk as a skunk when she left the message on my home recorder..immediately we all started calling each other and bitching and moaning about her latest escapade..bear in mind that mumzie usually goes to the hospital with the “big one” at least once a year during the Christmas season..this provides her with a large audience all in one place, surrounding her bedside..the doctors always say she is full of shit, her heart is fine, she did not have the “big one” but she needs to quit smoking or she will die of something lung related….she refuses to admit she has emphysema..she calls it asthma for gods sake..she will not let anyone speak to her doctors for fear that we will actually know what the fuck is wrong or NOT wrong w/her…and if I had that acting talent I would be on my way to Hollywood looking for an agent.
Now..i love my mother..i find her dramatic bullshit hard to take most of the time, but I love her DEARLY..she was a lousy mother but I got over that shit awhile back..my whole problem now is ..should I give her what she wants and ignore her crazy ass..or should I call her and rip her a new one? The third choice of course is to call and be nice..BUT FOLKS, THAT AINT ME..i NEVER keep my mouth shut..never ever..i say what I feel no matter what the cost..so..in the mean time..i will not call…its better to say nothing that go off on her right? Hell I hate this shit…she will never change..and neither will I. She plays games with everyone but me..i refuse to let her play games w/my head..when she threw around the “C” word last month I lost it on her..she promptly shut the hell up about it..she had everyone worked up but me..i called her ass on it..i said..if the doc didn’t use the fucking “c” work..why the hell do you? She had thrush for gods sake..not mouth cancer..
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3 people gave us their .02 cents:
My mother was like that for the last 2-3 years before she died, so I know what you're going through, Boo. She steadfastly refused to take care of herself and kept landing in the ER every 6 weeks or so. My sister and I finally had enough of it and laid into her about it. My brother, who lives out of town, was not privvy to our tirade until after the fact, and my mother ended up bringing him over to her side, for a little while. Once he saw the whole picture, he realized how serious the situation was. It was then, and only then, that my mother started to take her health more seriously. I guess what I'm saying is, that sometimes you have to be the parent to your own parent. They need to be hit over the head sometimes to get your point through.
She sounds like the sort that reverse psychology would work a treat.
Sorry to hear your woes.
Families suck eh?
once you hit her over the head, let the beatings cease. what good does it do to continue showering her with guilt--even if the requests are the best thing for her. she already knows what to do to prolong her days. it's stressful for her, too, you know. quit smoking, dusty. support her however you can. make your peace however you see fit, so that when the time comes, you have left nothing unsaid.
my freebird entry applies to you, even if mom's not an eagle.
keep the faith, my friend--
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