Monday, October 02, 2006 | By: Dusty Taylor

How to fake your way through the Baseball playoffs

Perhaps some of you don't know shit about baseball. You read this blog because your bored out of your mind and find it better than cartoons, or actually working during the day..I dunno.

So, we here at Moments in Time, have found the perfect primer for those of you that can't find your ass with both hands with regard to the baseball playoffs :) Its from my daily political spot, Slate.com. Here are a few do's and dont's:

American League Division Series: Oakland A's vs. Minnesota Twins
Historical context: Oakland won the World Series in 1989, thanks to the syringe-powered exploits of "Bash Brothers" Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire. Suggest to your viewing partners that light-hitting A's outfielders Jay Payton and Mark Kotsay should henceforth be known as the "Sucky Siblings."

American League Division Series: Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees
Historical context: The 26-time champs haven't won it all since 2000, falling to the Diamondbacks and the Marlins in their last two World Series appearances. With no traditional Yankees rivals in the AL field, debate whether losing to the Twins, Tigers, or A's would cause Billy Crystal the most embarrassment.

I am skipping the Dodgers/Mets series since I am praying to GOD that the Dodgers lose..so onto the National League Division Series: St. Louis Cardinals vs. San Diego Padres

Conversation starter: "I guess La Russa can't be blamed for the Cards' 4.54 team ERA." Conversation stopper: "But he deserves all the blame for that greasy mullet."

Conversation starter: "Cla Meredith was the best relief pitcher in the majors this year." Conversation stopper: "The only stat I care about is the Cuteness Factor."

-personally, I would smack the shit out of you if you use the Convo stopper we share in the section above :)

Enjoy the games!

9 people gave us their .02 cents:

Al Swearengen said...

Can't seem to root for anyone but Detroit, but Minnesotta would be my second pick for the AL - - - and of course I'm torn between LA and the Mets (my two favorite NL teams)...

dusty said...

I want Detroit in the AL and of course my Pads or the Mets in the NL.

S. R. said...

LA of course in the NL. If not them, then the Mets. The Pads make Sonic angry, make Sonic want to smash things.

In the AL, anyone but the Yanks, although they will probably do very well this postseason.

dusty said...

ah the horror of living in Dodger-land..I hate it Sonic ;p

S. R. said...

Shit, I went up to SBC for two Dodger games. It scared me.

Al Swearengen said...

I'm down w/ LA - - - said my piece over at sonicrusk...worth noting here as well I suppose, only I'll stick with a link to kick up those stats - like my grandfather says...every little bit counts. And s.r., speaking of my grandfather, he had a medical emergency that I can describe better over email...is this the proper venue for a message like this? Will you check this thread again? Perhaps it's 23 hour shifts for 4 straight days...

Was life always this complicated?

Have I taken my lithium this week?

http://sonicrusk.com/wordpress/?p=309#comment-1211

dusty said...

Al, I hope you grandfather is ok and I will keep him in my prayers.

Chick said...

Cuteness factor...cracked me up...whenever a girly girl wants to talk to me about how cute their favorite player is I usually puke (not that I don't agree usually...it's just not why I'm watching).

Go Padres.

dusty said...

Chick..thanks for rooting for my Pads..sadly the only place they seem to be going is out to play golf very soon. But I still love them, and hope that they can pull off a BoSox like turnaround..you gotta beleive, don't ya?

I do :)