Friday, November 17, 2006 | By: Dusty Taylor

Sweet Jeebus in a thong...

Ok, I took it upon myself to lower our cable bill. The ball and chain complained recently that our bill was going to hike up to $126.00 a month starting next month.

I said very loudly....WTF?

He repeated the price and said we have been paying $106.00 a month because he had whined six months ago about the bill and they graciously (or not) lowered the bill by $20 a month to shut him the hell up. But thats water under the bridge starting next month.

The cable company basically has said..Merry Christmas, choke on this mutha fucka.

This bill also includes our cable internet bill too, but its still a lot of friggin money to lay out each month to watch HBO, SHOWTIME and for me to play fuck-around on the internets. Mind you, I have RoadRunner light..not full speed RR. The fuckers wanted $40 a month for full speed.

The ball and chain is a good man. He doesn't ask much of me..a meal a day prepared for him, feed and care of all the critters and he gets to go out once a week and get shit-faced with his cronies.Sex is optional and at my discretion..I do know how to negotiate sportsfans. I did however, in all honesty, have an ulterior motive for going to a dish system.

I coveted the NFL Network. Our cable company doesn't offer it. I wanted it. Bad.

After 45 minutes of shucking and jiving with Dish Network..I managed to get everything that would make us both happy and the bill was down to $71 a month. This is minus the internet connection. But Dish was happy as a fucking clam to hook me up with SBC/Yahoo DSL for an additional $25 a month.

So, in reality I wasn't going to save us a whole helluva lot. $96 a month vs. $126. But $30 bucks IS $30 bucks, right folks? For a year, that comes out to $360..which is a decent amount. Thats an extra trip to Vegas in my book and the ball and chains too.

So it was hooked up yesterday. The picture is awesome. I can actually read the crawler on the bottom of the TV screen, unlike with cable.

But the ball and chain wouldn't let this go. When he called to cancel the cable last night, THEY offered him a GREAT deal. They said hey dude, come back and we will lower your bill to HALF for a year. The ball and chain..with dollar signs swimming in his little hazel eyeballs, came running back to my part of the house and commenced to argue for going back to cable.

I said..what happens after a year fuckwit o' mine? He said..well, it goes back up to $126 a month. I said..and we will go through this same shit again this time next year, right? No, we stay with Dish..fuck cable and the games they play with our wallet. Fuck em long and hard.

The ball and chain won't let this go. He is now down at the cable company, getting their bottom dollar in writing. I have to hook up my DSL today, which I don't relish one friggin iota, since it probably means re-doing my wireless router too.

This little situation is far from over..I know its not. His arguement now? He gets 5 more HBO and SHOWTIME channels with cable than with DISH..

Who gives a shit? Not me..I got my NFL Network. I am not giving that up for a couple more channels showing the same shit as what's on the other 8 HBO channels. No sir, not moi.

To be continued...

PS...Collage football Coach,Bo Schembechler has just died at 77 years of age..Michigan fans are gonna be sad this week :(

3 people gave us their .02 cents:

Bruce said...

From Peter King of SI... NFL to fans who can't get the NFL Network on cable: Get a dish...

dusty said...

Yes I know B..and therein lies the problem. The cable company just made Jerry a helluva deal..mutha fuckas..we are arguing as I type about switching back..I am gonna kill someone over this shit.

sumo said...

I pay nearly 150.00 a month now...all the HBO...high-speed RR and on-demand (which is a nice thing) and I nearly faint on that. So if I go bat-shit on the brighthouse...they'll give me half off for a year? My husband may try that. Thanks.