Today, the first f**king day of the year..

And my mommie dearest is in the hospital in San Diego. Now, she's been there for a week, so its not as bad as it sounds..really. My sister whom she came out to visit has said when the ol biddie gets out of the hospital, she needs to move to another relatives house..she no longer wishes to deal with mommie dearest.

Who the fuck does?

Nothing will blow your holiday mood like dealing with my crotchetty, self-absorbed, COPD-suffering mother. Believe me folks..this bitch takes the cake. She is rude, negative, condescending and really insufferable..just take my word ok? She was moved to another "care center" since she wasn't really sick any longer, as much as an over-fucking-dramatic windbag of a bitch who thinks the world rises and sets on her ass.

Think Fred Sanford but will a little more money and female.

The phone lines have been buzzin all morning: this sista, that sista..my father..and back again. Its all so hard to swallow when your watching bowl games and smoking one. I want to enjoy my day as much as I am able. I deserve it for the love of god. This woman who couldn't parent her way out of a wet paper bag wants my undivided attention when there isn't anything medically necessary right now can kiss my ass.

There, I said it.

She needs to suck it up and deal. She isn't dying yet. She pulls this every christmas/new years season. I swear as god is my witness. No one asks her to migrate to Cali each winter and live with one of her daughters and make their poor lives a living hell. But she comes out anyway.

Not my fucking house, no sir ree bob. I tell her no room in the inn..just like for poor Jesus and his mom, ya know?

It works..why change?

I hope they figure it out down there. I have never been so fucking glad to live in the agriculture capital of the U.S..the San Joaquin Valley..in my life as now.

Back to my bowl and the bowl games...