Its not a pity party..its a statement of facts.

I have been in constant and mostly excruciating pain for over 10 months now. Anyone that reads my drivel regularly knows this. I have to fight with the insurance company to get treatment that is commonly accepted by the majority of insurance companies..the reason MY insurance company fights me and my doctors tooth and nail is this...

They represent my employer. Its workers compensation insurance. They have one goal..KEEP THE COSTS DOWN AT ALL COSTS. They do not care what I deal with on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. They have never talked to me. They have never approved one thing first time its requested. They make my doctor ask and ask again..the appeal process works in favor of the insurance company and the mutha fuckas know it.

I am tired of fighting for my rights to being treated in a fair and equitable manner. I am tired of being in pain all the time..I am tired of sleeping maybe 4 hours a night..being drugged up to my eyeballs just for a few precious hours of sleep. Constant pain is more debilitating than the injury itself. It robs you of your sanity, your reasoning skills and any semblance of a decent quality of life. I am tired of being medicated up to my brown eyes and the side effects that come with constantly being medicated. Its bad for my body..very bad. My doctor has stated I am a good candidate for disc replacement surgery. But try telling that to the assholes at workers compensation. Those fuckwits would rather deny me the most basic needs in order to save a buck. They make my doctor jump through hoops just get medication approved. An epidural shot of cortisone given a month apart should of provided me relief..instead..I got the shots 6 months apart..which doesnt do a FUCKING thing. Its like taking an aspirin after you have gone into pnuemonia. Its fuckwitted and god damn stupid.

Their goal is to outwait me and my doctors. If they drag their fucking heels long enough maybe we will tire of asking..maybe I will say fuck it and go back to work since the money I recieve on workers comp is a mere pittance of what I got when I worked.

There have been times when I look at all those medications and think of downing them all with a large skyy and soda. I am so tired of being in pain. I am so damn tired of this bullshit at my expense.

I want to take a gun and blow them all to hell..but I wont' I am not capable of the 3 hour drive to their offices in LA. I can't even clean my house. I can't do much of anything unless I am medicated than then I cant do anything because I am a zombie..its bullshit I tell ya.

When money considerations come before the health and quality of life for the patients..its disgusting and should be illegal. but it's the law and workers compe loves it. I do not.