It's Here! NFL season starts this weekend.

The preseason starts this Sunday with the Hall of Fame game. Buffalo vs Tennesee. Anyone remember that highschool play that Tenn pulled to sink Buffalo in the playoffs? The Music City Miracle...


Tt's also T.O's first game on the boob tube.

Jeez, I can't wait to see T.O. act the ass..really, I can't. Will I draft him? Dunno yet, but it's unlikely.

Now that I have forced the Ball n' Chain™ to get DirecTV, I will not miss one friggin game, as I now get the NFL Network. This makes me happy.

Chargers still haven't signed their first round pick..

Ah yes..football..a sport that has the shortest god damn season of any American sport.

Ok..how did ya like those games?

I correctly picked the winnar's in both professional football games yesterday. I am batting a thousand at this point and I feel quite...well..I was going to say studly..but as a female that isn't what I was going for..

So, I feel very proud that I got both of them right. The ball and chain got both games wrong.

My financial future is secure at this moment. Then of course I will risk it all on the SuperBowl and lose my fucking ass. Bet on that.

Football news..Billick fired..Parcells cleans house..

Raven's wasted no time in shitcanning Brian Billick. Hopefully the GM won't be far behind..

Brian Billick Kiss Rodney Harrison
Uploaded by TaylorDisaster

Who ya kissing now Brian?

The Tuna started work this past week and already dumped the following:

GM Randy Mueller
Assistant director of player personnel Mike Baugh
College scouting coordinator Rick Thompson

Everyone else is expendable too..God help ya Parcells, it can't be an easy job..but then..you knew that right?

Prior a Padre? jeez..

At least it was only a one year contract. Lets pray he actually plays this year ummkay? He last pitched for the Chicago Cubs in 2006, when he made nine starts and went 1-6 with a 7.21 ERA.

His last good year? 18-6 with a 2.43 ERA in 2003.

Kevin Towers also signed another surgery guy..Randy Wolf. Why does Towers still have a friggin job with the Padres? Does he have pictures of John Moores fucking the neighbor's dog or something?

In other news, Roger Clemens' attorneys are earning their keep by investigating the allegations against The Rocket..good luck with that..seriously. Most of the information in the Mitchell report was unfounded 'he said' type of bullshit. No smoking guns, although I do have a tendency to believe it..why? Because the guy bulked up and seemed to get better with age..ala Barroid Bonds..but if they can prove otherwise..more power to em, I just don't see how you counter such allegations. It would be nice if someone had proof Roger bought HGH or roids in my book.

In other drug news..MN Vikings player Darrion Scott was popped for pot. Favorite line in the article:

"He asked the officers, 'Don't you know who I am?"' Carpenter said. "They cut him a break by not placing him in handcuffs."

Touche'

Parcells and the Dolphins?

What.The.Fuck??

Parcells and Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga agreed Wednesday on a four-year contract to be Miami's vice president of football operations, according to ESPN, which employs the two-time Super Bowl-winning coach as an analyst.

The Dolphins declined comment, only saying no contract has been signed, and no one at Huizenga's business office was authorized to comment when reached Wednesday evening by the Associated Press

It can't be the money, can it? Is The Tuna that desperate to get back into the game? Sweet Jesus in a thong..

What ever happened to dolphin-free tuna? ;p FoxSports has this to say about Billy:

The latest victim of Parcells' squirrelly-ness is the Falcons, who were a victim once before. Falcons owner Arthur Blank is not happy, and for good reason.

Here is Blank's statement:

"Late last night it was revealed to the media by a source outside the Falcons that we were close to reaching an agreement with Bill Parcells to lead the club's football operations. Prior to the information becoming public, we had reached an agreement in principle with Parcells, and we met with him this morning to complete the contract.

"At that time, we were made aware by Parcells that he was considering a revised offer from the Miami Dolphins. He later informed us that he would not be signing a contract with us."
In other words, Parcells leaked the story about his Falcons deal, forcing the Dolphins to pony up more cash. Then Parcells backed out of the agreement with Atlanta and has reportedly agreed to a four-year deal with Miami.

This is the most believable story in the history of sports.

Fucking shit..it IS about the money..The New York Times isn't very nice to Billy either.

Tags: Bill Parcells, Falcons, Dolphins

Vick gets 23 months..

Ol Mikie won't be tossing the pigskin for 23 months..at least. Vick and three buddies still face trial on state dogfighting charges in Virginia. They are accused of torturing and killing dogs and promoting dogfights -- all felonies that carry five-year maximum sentences in VA. From CNN:

Vick was dressed in a black-and-white striped prison suit and apologized to the his family and to the judge.

"You need to apologize to the millions of young people who looked up to you," responded U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson.

Vick also acknowledged he used "poor judgment" and added he was ready to accept responsibility.

Poor judgment? You fucking clown..its apparent you do not value life and all you can say is that you used poor judgment? Wotta tool..bye bye Michael..don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya fool. You have loved the 'sport' of dogfighting since you were a kid. YOu knew it was wrong, it was illegal and it was heinous. My only hope is that someone makes you their girlfriend whilst you cool your heels in a prison.

What..a...game!

Good football game last nite..what's that? You didn't get to watch it?

Blame the NFL and their grand plan to control all things football. Don't blame your cable company who is taking most of the blame for this bullshit.

It was a good game..Brett Favre was knocked out in the first half. His replacement did an admiral job although they still lost by 10 points. From SI.com:

NFL fans who missed the Cowboys' 37-27 shootout win on Thursday night really missed something. It was a big-play-strewn and wildly entertaining game that had a little bit of everything -- including an injury that knocked the indestructible Brett Favre from the field in the first half.

If you didn't get to watch it, you weren't alone. Only a scant 30 million got to watch Tony Romo toss a shit-load of TD's. I had to drive to San Diego to watch the game..funny how that trip worked out timing wise.. but as I said..its not your cable company's fault that the NFL is holding a gun to their head.

Of course I have both QB's in several of my fantasy leagues..it was a bittersweet night to say the least..

Sean Taylor passes

It's a sad day when a young man dies and the press goes after his past. Sean Taylor wasn't a faceless, nameless black man. We welcomed him into our homes every Sunday via our TV's. We marveled at his strength and agility. Yes, young black men die in senseless violence every day in our country..but Sean wasn't a stranger..and so we mourn him and think of what might of been..at least some of us do.

Rest in Peace Sean. I hope your child and fiance' are taken care of.

Norv Turner you suck dude..

The only way I can explain the fact that Phillip Rivers looks like shit this year is the change in head coach and plays being run..what else could it be that is turning Rivers into the biggest bust of the season after last years numbers..

Which ever fuckwit picked Norv-the loser-Turner to lead the Chargers...he/she/it should be tied behind a truck and dragged down I-5 all the way to L.fucking A. Then bury his/her/it's ass in the middle of the field at the Coliseum.

Not to mention..at .500, the Chargers still lead their division..sick huh?

Finally, an agent gets sacked..and its Boras no less! Kenny Rogers has shown Boras the door and said he wants to stay in Detroit. I root for Detroit baseball..dunno why, but I always do. It would be nice for that team to stay consistent an entire freaking season.

And I always root for Kenny Rogers..ol' fart that he is.

Back to Football..anyone see the bizarro ending of the Browns/Ravens game? craptastic indeed!

Ricky Williams..come on down!!!

Yes, the NFL's favorite pot smoker most likely will be welcomed back into the fold by the powers that be in the NFL.

Excuse me whilst I laugh my hairy ass off. The Dolphins management however isn't so sure they want him back..no shit? Unless Ricky plans on playing for his room and board, I don't see too many teams offering him much.

But I could be wrong..its been known to happen my dear reader..I don't think smoking pot was Williams problem..I think dealing with the media and life in general was his major malfunction..

Hang in there Ricky..don't let the bastids get ya down dude.

tags: Ricky Williams

Mundane Monday...

The Chargers looked like shit last night..but then Indy did too. Peyton Manning probably pissed down both legs after tossing his 6th interception of the night..A New Record for ol Peyton folks! The Chargers should be down right embarrassed to lead their division with a craptastic 5-4 record.

My football fantasy teams did ok..thanks for asking.

This week in baseball, we will find out who wins the NL and AL ROY, The Cy, Manager of the year and league MVP. They will spread this news out over the course of the whole friggin week..bastids.

Oh, and that wanker A-Rod might join Joe Torre in the wearing of Dodger Blue. I know..I laughed about that one as well. He will fit right in with all the other freak shows in L.A won't he? This info is from Torre himself, so only God knows how authentic it is.

That's it for a Mundane Monday..

Tags: Chargers, Peyton Manning, Arod