Thursday, February 10, 2005 | By: Dusty Taylor
its time to put up or shutup..i need to move on i think..the ball and chain has driven me nuts for the last friggin time! his self-centered attitude has taken its last toll on my psyche. My son is my only child, and if i choose to buy him a fucking cell phone, then so be it! the ball and chain has the nads to open his yap about it. he wants to know who is going to pay the bill each month. I say "I will till he pays YOU for the truck he bought". The ball and chain has the nads to then say "if YOU think YOU can afford it." I work my ass off when i work. I literally keep 16 hour days for two weeks at a time, i drive up to 8 hours a day just so i can sleep in my own fucking bed at night. I DONT get a day off for weeks at a time..and this fat fuck says to me "if you think you can afford it?" He will move heaven and earth when he wants something..doesnt matter if we got a couple bills that could use that cash, he wants to go to vegas, the rest of the world be damned! He bought ME a new car he says, when in reality he bought the car so he could get his chunky ass to vegas without having to worry about breaking down in the damn desert. I would of been happy with the older model we looked at, but he insisted on the new model and now...that fat fuck wants to jerk me out about the car? does he have fucking alzheimers? how can one man constantly turn things around so he comes out smelling like a friggin rose all the time. back to my son....i can curse him, i can wish he would move the hell out, i can bitch my everloving ass off about him, but damnit...if i want to buy the kid a friggin cell phone, by god i am going to do it. Is 40 bucks gonna break me? hell no, i spend that much in one day on a pair of shoes, just means one less pair of shoes for mama..

i have been trying to figure out when to leave him. its not a question of IF i am leaving him..only when. we have very little in common and my tolerance for dipshits runs very thin lately. I give up alot to live with him..like my life. I used to make excuses for staying with him, now..i have to tell myself to wait awhile..dont move too quickly, dont just bail..think it out..but i always bail..toss a few things in the car and say adios mutha fucka...keep the furniture,house,dogs,bank accounts....just let me the hell outta here! I find it very easy to leave everything behind when i feel my time is up. my sanity is more important than worldly possessions..you can buy a new couch, you cant buy a new ego..an ego is a fragile thing..it can be crushed by worthless men that think controlling you is a great hobby, a way to pass the time when they have nothing better to do..or the bar is closed..

do i bail again..or do i plan this so i get to take something with me this time besides my clothes and a cat named scooter. somehow it just doesn't seem to matter, the physical trappings of my life. My sanity is at stake..my self esteem. I would trade everything i have (cept scooter)for a good man that can appreciate my better qualities and give me my space. I am not a clingy female, i dont need to be told i love you every ten minutes. i dont need to be included in everything he does..i give him his space, i fucking expect mine! if he can do what he wants..then you dumb bastard..it goes the other way too! i dont suffocate him, i expect the same thing in return. i dont tell him what to do and when to do it. i give him his freedom, to do what he wants, with who he wants, when he wants to do it. he can do ANYTHING this side of cheating on me..thats the only ground rule. I EXPECT THE SAME ! if i cant have equality, this romance is over dude..actually..its been over for a long time..i have just been playing the hand out..i gave it the ol college try..fuck it..i am gone..
Tuesday, February 01, 2005 | By: Dusty Taylor
My whole reason for being has been challenged. Not by anything earth shattering..just my husband. That simple minded whack job actually thinks I was put on this earth to cook his meals..above ALL else. Can you friggin believe it? I can't. I do believe I told him prior to marriage that cooking is a hobby. Hobbies are something you do when you want to..not when you HAVE to. Its a pain in my behind to figure out something each and every friggin nite. Plus if I am working long hours that day..the LAST thing I want to worry about is his stomach "growling". So eat something jackass, leave me the hell alone. I think this huge report that is due by 7am is a hell of alot more important than your lack of nutrition. Speaking of which..he could miss a few meals and no one would notice. The man hasnt seen his feet in years. Bear in mind that the hardest thing this man does all day is sit in a bar and tell lies with his cronies..whilst I am working feverishly to produce a paycheck. He is retired so I cant blame him for parking his tush on a barstool for hours..and he usually drinks iced tea, but still....MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING DIN DIN OLD MAN! McDonalds is right down the street and open till at least 11 pm. LEAVE ME ALONE! OR better yet..the kitchen is more than just a large refrigerator full of precooked food that you pass through on your way to the bathroom..it contains a friggin stove and oven...learn how to use them! If all else fails..the microwave works and most food items take less than 2 minutes to cook hot enough to burn the roof of your everloving mouth. If god wanted me to cook all your friggin meals, he wouldnt of given me a damn job outside the house..wait..that was YOU that talked me into a real job..ok..its YOUR fault buddy..deal with it! Cook or starve..its up to you :)

Does IQ stand for Ignorance Quotient?

Do you ever wonder..Has everyone lost their friggin minds? I do on occasion. I find there are days when every person I have to deal with is either dumb as a rock or plain doesn't give a shit. The ignorance quotient gets high on some days which makes me think its either the alignment of the damn planets or a new viral strain that scientists are not aware of yet. The viral strain gets my vote in most cases. It seems to affect even the most intelligent of people, folks that usually don't act like their brains just took a friggin vacation and left the anal area in charge for the day. I can't see how in the blue hell anyone with half a thought process could fall victim to the "I don't give a shit" virus, or the "It's not my problem" strain which seems to affect those people that deal with the general public. Correct me if I am wrong but even the nimrods that work at say, Macy's, have to expect customer service from someone at some point in their day. Even "they" have to deal with someone at Starbucks or even Burger King or god forbid the Vet's office. Don't "they" want a little respect or help from a clerk or a person whos sole job is to provide a service to paying customers? Do the dipshits in life that are lucky enough to keep a job they suck at really think no one is going to notice their shitty attitude or lack of effort? Maybe they are delusional enough to think no one is going to take the time to complain about them or possibly mention the fact that they really really should find another line of work, like maybe cleaning the cat boxes at the local animal shelter. Perhaps I am the one that is delusional, thinking that some folks might actually take the time to bitch to someone that will actually DO something about that jackass at the front desk that has the personality of a grapefruit. Like when your standing there, waiting to be acknowledged or told, "I will be right with you". It takes a nano fucking second to say that phrase, but I will be damned if the flaky bitch at the vet's office today, who was standing roughly 1 foot from my face could acknowledge me. She kept answering her phone, or staring at her computer screen, ANYTHING but shoot me a look and "the phrase". I stood there for 10 friggin minutes before one of the assistants from the back noticed my "I wanna kill you bitch" look at the aforementioned front desk person and came up and asked if I had been helped yet. Now, it would of been easy to go off on her and say "Hell no, I always have this expression on my face" but I didn't. I felt it would be very rude to take it out on her. It wasn't her fault the person closest to me could not do anything but ignore me. Ok, I did send one final "glare" at the clown that was still staring at her computer when I left the office area, but since she was still not making eye contact with anything but her computer monitor she obviously missed my nasty look. And since I frequent this vet's office quite regularly lately I felt that making a "scene" would not be in MY best interests. The time would come when I would have to deal with this complete idiot at some point in my sick pets life. Since I have a boatload of dogs and cats. The odds were very good I would see this dipshit again, so I held my tongue, felt my blood pressure fly off the charts and silently mumbled to myself that god would reward me at some point for not mouthing off this one time. God will reward me for this right? Don't tell me he wont. I will come unglued if I even entertain the idea that my tolerance for this rude bitch will go unrewarded....I swear I will.